“That is all I want in life: for this pain to seem purposeful.”Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation
That quote pretty much sums up everything that I feel about life. It's pretty sad, isn't it? I can't stand waking up half the time and it's such a struggle to actually wake up and get out of bed because I know that somehow it will be this will be another repetitive blur of nothingness type of day, strewn together with bits and fragments of happy memories that I try to keep a hold of, suffocating on how much I hate the day and just being awake. So I sleep or play video games to get away from my self-loathing, and somehow I manage to look for a job for some odd hours of the day because college is sucking my wallet dry and it's not caring that the education it has honored me with is not helping me find a job, or any employment at all.
So now I will go to bed, and wake up tomorrow to the same blur of motion that seems to have plagued my life lately.