Today we put my brothers puppy down. No one wanted to treat her because only two places had the right "tools". She suffered from water in the brain, and lived a decent life until today when she ran full force into a tree she couldn't see. Her head swelled up and she had a lump the size of a tennis ball. She couldn't move, cry, or do much of anything except drool. No one would help her or even bother to attempt to examine her and the one place that would basically told us it would cost well over twenty one hundred dollars. No payment plan. No help. Go figure.

My friend decided to tell me she's going to follow her boyfriend of two months to wherever he decides to go after he gets his certification dealing with pipeline inspections so I guess I'm another friend down. She wants to know if Ill go have one last weekend hurrah with her but I think I might bail, goodbyes aren't my thing and I don't want to have to do it. I'm happy for her and I'm being selfish as hell but I can't help it, I'm so damn lonely it's ridiculous. I told another friend of my depression. I haven't heard from her since, she's been ignoring all my calls and texts for the past week. Go figure.

Life goes on so I have to force myself through another day. I'm surrounded by people everyday but I don't know if I've ever felt so alone before.