hello
hello everyone i havent been on for so long, my life totally sux, havent really gambled much, i think was there 3 times all year but 3 times is enough, i don't know whats wrong with me I have no faith in anything and i feel like i cant even have a normal relationship i am 46 now and I cant seem to get anything right, i have been married since 2001 and it was good for years and then things started to go down hill from there useless marriage a out of control stepkid , my husband always working , then I got diabetes type 1 and lost alot of weight now i wear an insulin pump, me and husband dont eve really talk anymore i get no comfort or anything its amazing I dont even know what its like to held anymore alls I do is go to work and try to be the best I ccan be and its never good enough, I honestly dont know what to do anymore, well tomorrow is gonna be day one again since I gambled today, and I promise myself that once again I will never walk through those stupid doors again, things have to change in my life but I feel so alone and I go to work and act like everything is great and its not, just had to write this to get some of this out of my system and it feels good but I am hoping things might be different and they never do,I hope I dont bore anyone with all this , I just want to be happyand I havent been in so long
Replies
Hello, just reading your post makes me scared. Please find someone to talk to in person right away, a friend, a co-worker, call someone. I do not want to talk about religion as I do not go to chruch regularly but I do thank god every morning for me waking up in the morning and to know that my children and grand children are doing well. I realized that I say all the time \"god what is wrong with me, I use money on these slot machines and take away from my family\". I realized that he will always be with me but until I decide to change my ways, he can\'t help me. So today, I will pray for you. Blessings and lots of hugs for you!