it is saturday night and what a long week, and then to top it off my stepson calls and tells me that he needs to come home for 5 months because his parole officer said so, i was like no way in hell are you coming back here, he will be 18 in five months if i did not mention that before, that kid has destroyed my life, he stole from me and his father, he is on drugs, he does not go to school, and my marriage is falling apart each day, my spouse can't wake up to the fact that he was not a father, because i actually raised him , his mom wanted nothing to do with him and his dad always worked the night shift and i think that is because he can't deal with shit, i am sick of it and i don't know what to do, i have really no where to go, and i can't part with my 4 yr old lab/pitbull who is very hyper noone would want him and i can't take him to the pound, and then there is my two cats who can probaly come with me, wherever that may be, i have family but i would have to come alone with no pets they are like my kids and I love them very much, they are innocent, i know that may sound crazy. I told my husband that your child who is almost an adult is not coming back here to live, i know that must be hard to face but he has to realize that noone should have to live the way I was when he was here, i felt like I was in lockdown or something, hiding money and removing mostly everything of value from my house i even had to carry my laptop with me, along with everything else on a daily basis not a good way to live, and then he steals anything that is not strapped down even after he runs away my husband forgot to lock the patio door or something and he comes in and steals the xbox and wii, and even my christmas present the wii fit, he is such an asshole and I can't stand him , I just wish my husband would face reality, I am not the one with problem, not anymore, it has been well over two or maybe close to 3yrs since I am gambled, i have been going to work, going to the gym and paying bills not much of a life but that is reality, i made plenty of mistakes in which I already faced the consequence , why can't he treat me like a human being, I am 43 now and i don't deserve to be treated like shit everyday from someone, i just want too feel like normal and know what is feels like to be loved again I think it is probaly too late for that and maybe i need to take things to the next level, especially if he decides to let that adolescent teenager back in this house, alls i know is i can't live here if that happens i will not subject myself to his shit ever again. Well I guess I rambled enough, i just wish I can inherit alot of money real quick, I was always an independent person, but it is tough out there and i don't think I could do it own my own now. I hope everyone is having a good weekend, I will try to make the best out of tomorrow, my one day off this week, i will not let either of them ruin my day. Hugs to all , Mindy
Replies
Oh Mindy....my heart goes out to you. That is such a terrible position for anyone to be put in. At least you can still say that your stepson is still young and foolish. My brother was a grown man doing all that crap...and stealing from his own children, not to mention mine. Eventually, he has gotten clean and is trying to learn to live again. He no longer steals and that is a plus. Hopefully your husband\'s son will learn sooner rather than later, what it takes to grow up and survive....you are right, no one deserves to live like that. As for your pets, they are family. I would never leave my cat (or any other pet for that matter), and I am proud of you for sticking with yours. Have faith that things will work out for you. I believe that in the end you will be in a much better place and will make any decisions you have to for your own well-being. You are worth it.!!! Don\'t let anyone ruin your day off.
Mindy, I\'m sorry that things are so awful right now. I\'m proud of you for sticking up for yourself when it comes to not letting your step-son move back in! You do not deserve being a prisoner in your own home! I pray you can find away to move on with your pets, I know what you mean about them being family! You are in my prayers now more than ever. Peace and Love, Patty
Hi Mindy, I saw your journal...we have mutual friends....and I must say my heart goes out to you. I went through a similar situation in my last marriage. I must say that the issue with my stepson was one of the things that ended my marriage!
He had a history of stealing and drug use, stole from his previous step-mother (which my ex told him never to tell me!) Twice he was in my bedroom when I walked out of the shower naked, as he was using me being in the shower to pilfer through my purse which I had to keep in the bedroom. I locked valuables in my bedroom, and came home one night to see he had broken the door down! He claimed it was an accident....right.....which my ex decided to believe! Numerous belongings disappeared; jewelry, camaras, money, etc. He even told us that he was planning to kill us in our sleep, but kept sleeping through the alarm he set. I found knives under his bed. The ex steadfastedly defended him, and told me he didn\'t mean his threats. I got to where I couldn\'t sleep and would wake up in the middle of the night. He brought drugs in our home and I think was also selling them. Still, my ex wouldn\'t do anything but be his \"buddy\". I was the only \"parent\" who set any rules....yes, I got to be the \"evil stepmother\". If my ex had stepped up to the plate as a father, instead of trying so hard to be a buddy, maybe our relationship as well as his son\'s life would have turned out differently!
In spite of all, I cared for the boy and tried to get psychiatric help for him, which my ex would not follow-up on.
Finally, the ex tricked him into going back out of state to live with his mother.
(sent him on a visit and wouldn\'t let him come back! Our marriage ended shortly afterward.
Months after he was gone, I still woke up at 2:00 AM every night, frightened.
My ex did not treat me with the love and respect I deserved as his partner. Although it was very painful, I am very very very happy to be out of that situation....it was a nightmare!!!!! I hope you stick to your guns and do not allow your stepson to come back into your home. You deserve to feel safe!
Best wishes....Dianne