When I was having those arguments and stuff with my boyfriend at the weekend I was having a tough time. It wasn't so much the way my boyfriend was acting, but it just reminded me of my past. He kept saying its got nothing to do with anyone else, just us. But I kept thinking no it is about everything else, this is about my past. I started thinking about stuff so much its like I got locked inside my own head.I couldn't respond to anything, I was aware of what was going on but I just couldn't speak or look. Sean kept saying "katie please tell me what your feeling, try and tell me whats going on" but I couldn't. I managed to tell him that I couldn't speak because I felt like I was somewhere else.  I just laid in bed, staring at the wall not saying anything for hours. Sean had left me alone for a little bit but then he came in to see how I was doing and started trying to make me talk again. I just started freaking out and crying and screaming. Like I'd completely lost my mind. Its kind of embarassing when stuff like this happens. It used to happen a lot but this is the first time in ages that I've dissassociated (I think thats what it is). I haven't spoken about it since so I thought it might be healthy to write about it here, and maybe I will try talking to Sean about it tonight and give him more information about it in case it happens again or in case he is feeling confused.But thats exactly what it feels like, locked inside my own head. Like I am in another time or place. I keep thinking about little details of my past and it feels as if I am still there.