I had a go at my boyfriend last night. I had given him so many jobs to do to help me out, mail off our hardship fund and contract for the house. And he hasnt done them after about 2 weeks of me asking him. I told him I have shown him nothing but love, and he can't really care about me if he's not trying to help out. I think hes sorry and hes gone into town to do them today, but I still feel bad. He doesn't think about me, hes not considerate. I don't occur to him. I Just don't feel loved I guess. at the moment I'm not seeing anyway to get through all this unless I start self harming again. If I start self harming I will not care about all this stuff anymore, work, money, boyfriends. The only thing that will matter to me is cutting. I desperatly want that right now. I want all of this to fade out. Its the closest thing to being dead I think- having an obsession that takes all of you living lifes importance away. I desperatly want to be like that. I cannot cope with all of this.
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Hey you, you can cope. You need to take one day at a time. He may well be a lazy boy - they often are, but if he didn\'t care or love you why is he with you? Try giving him just one or two jobs at time. And you need to try rationalising things out, so that you are less likely to feel overwhelmed and want to cut. Talk to him about it. Tell him what antagonises you. From what I read here it seems that you are experiencing normal relationship hiccups and, because you\'ve learnt to deal with difficult situations by cutting, you immediately want too. You have learnt to mentally and physically react in a way that only punishes you. Question yourself more, does the issue that you\'re dealing with warrant self-harm? No. So, what can you do to solve the problem in another way? THAT\'S WHAT YOU\'VE GOT TO WORK AT. x
Either he does not know how important these things are to you or he just doesn\'t care. Either way it is his doing not yours. Therefore self harming in NOT AN ACCEPTABLE ANSWER!!!! LOLLOL I care, what can I say? Eric
YOu hated the confrontation but it was good to vent and let him know that you expect him to share in responsibilities. He probably loves you but just let it go. Was it an oversight because you handle most of the paperwork? Do something to increase your self esteem instead of cutting. You are stronger than you feel at this moment. You don\'t have to act out all your impulses. We all have some.