Hey AllWell all hell broke loose tonight. We were watching tv and the phone rung. Caller ID show it was my dad. Ralph gave me the phone and it was my step mom. My dad wouldn't even talk to me. She said that she would be off work on Sunday and they wanted everyone to come by and open presents. I ask what time and she said anytime. I ask her if my friend was allow to come and she said no that they didn't have presents for them. I told her no we wouldn't be coming and she said u could just come without her and I said no she is family. She said it wasn't right for me to do that and I said it was right for her to get drunk all the time either and I hung up the phone. Rhonda and Ralph her what I said and both were upset but Rhonda said don't worried about calm down. So I'm calm I guess but I hate the idea that they just think they can come in when they want and tell me what and what not to do in my life. There the ones that need the change not me. My dad had been more drunk then sober when he saw my kids and so was my step mom. So it pisses me off.But then I'm calming down. I went and painted ceramics for awhile and feel better but still pissed. I've bee waiting for mom to call and ask me what happen. But she hasn't yet. So they bought gifts for us but I'm not sure I want them. I'm not going to there house and ralph agrees. I hope Rhonda don't blame herself for the falling out with my dad. Its not her fault, its Dad for being a uppity snob. My brother probably told something bad about them and Dad ate it up just to so he could tell me I was stupid.My dad has no business being in my business. I was going to talk to him about it but I didn't think he would be like this. Hell will hit tomorrow when mom calls but maybe my brothers will keep out of it. We're going to mom's on Sunday for christmas dinner and of course my brothers will be there. Oh well I don't care. Its my business and if dad don't like it its tough. He never was in my life enough to care unless I was sick. I got more upset with his drinking since I been out of rehab. I didn't say nothing last year I was going through rehab but now I did 3 weeks ago and I'm sticking with my guns. My brothers can stick it. Love ya allRobin
Replies
sorry all the trouble happening ive had days like yours too during holidays but my family had its dysfuncional days but got a whole lot better over the years when your dealing with step mom or dads and step siblings things are worse so i feel for you hun like one of your friends said Jesus is the reason for the season and even if we have to celebrate alone keeping peace is main thingI didnt understand about your friends going to your step moms but I can see a relatives side for hateing to have non family and no gifts for them . it depends how long or well the family knows your friends . I do understand your frustration and yes ceramics help calm us . I hope you can solve the get together problem and be happy during holidays I feel for you what your childhood was like and all . count your blessings that your not drinking and your not deathly sick Your dad will probly never change so try hard to find something good about him and remember that hope you can have a Happy holidays hugs sandy
Hey hon. I hate to hear that you are having so much trouble with your family, especially during Christmas! Please know that I will be praying for you and your family... and Rhonda! I hope you have a very very happy Christmas!! God bless you. Love and prayers, Gayla
Sometimes the \"Best\" thing we can do in love is to walk away. I had to do that with my Dad when my kids came into the picture. Then when he got sober and stayed sober, we came back home. Even being sober doesn\'t totally change their personality though, it take years for them to change their compulsive behaviour, and it took years for me to change my reaction to it.
You are starting on a new journey in your life, you are learning and changing. It\'s not always easy, and you will get your feelings hurt. Funny thing even when we are being good, other people\'s sins hurt us. So stay away, tell your brothers it would just be too hard for you, and your mental and physical health are your priority this year. Write your Dad a long letter if you need to explaining why and how he hurt you, then look at it, and burn it! Leave all that trash in the past, move on to a clean future...just walk away for a while, till you are stronger, or till they are recovered.
Nan
Yep!!! alot of my family was alcoholic! won,t go into that thO! sorry bout you r dad!! I guess he,s pretty \"old fart\" by now!! Its about time!! he \"\"\"\"\"sobered up!\"\"\"!!!! sounds like your step MOMate on my approach- to you!! but for now!! what I got out of this!! is you are working on yourself-- to try to maintain\"\" and DaA AND HIS WOMAN\"\" ARE AN UPSETTING BUNCH-- OUT TO MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE HELL-- FOR THEIR GOOD TIME??? wELL DON,T!!!! --- YOU DON,T NEED TO TAKE dAD AND HIS WOMAN- STEP mOMS CRAP!!! SO ! DADS FOR YOU!! REALLY i HOPE THEY CAN BACK OFF- AND BOTHER SOMEONE ELSE DURING THE hOLIDAYS? HOPE SO!p,S hANG -UP ON dAD IF hE CALLS YOU!! yep! JUST HANG -UP!!! i KNOW IT HARD-- YOU PROBLY CAN,T!! BUT HANG-UP ANYHOW,S!! YOUR NERVES ARE SHOT!!
p,S \"\"\"KEEPING ON-\"\"\"- SAID SOME GREAT THINGS!! REALLY!!WHAT SHE SAID-- IS VERY TRUE SWEETIE!!!
I am so sorry for all the fighting around you at Christmas time. I will say a prayer for you and your family. I think it is a good thing you stuck up for yourself.
Im realy so sorry to hear that but my thoughts and prayers are with you and yor family trew the holidays and all year Love Sue :)
Robin, I\'m sorry your father is the way he is but in all honesty I think a big part of your problem is you still seem to want some kind of relationship with him. There is no way in hell I\'d let someone like him near my children grandfather or not and I would not let him call me or talk to me the way you keep doing. It is hard to let go of family, deep in our hearts we keep hoping they will change and really love us some day but that day almost never comes and you can end up putting up with a lot of abuse in the mean time.
I know you want to heal so why not start the healing with getting rid of the heels in your life. I know you are Christian so look at what it says in the bible about those offending you because of their behaivor and how you should cast them off. I\'d take a hard look at your brother too and why he wants to keep trouble stirred up, maybe he should be let go too, there are many wonderful people who are ready and willing to be family of the heart to replace those of blood who think that tie gives them the right to treat you badly.
Casting off people does not always cast the bad feelings away. I tried casting my father away, but it didn\'t take the bad feelings away. I had to find it in my heart to forgive him even thou I didn\'t want to deal with him. I am so sorry you are having these problems and your dad is definitely at the root of it all. No two people have the same answers, but for me in order to get the anger, frustration and hurt under control, I had to forgive my father. Not understand, like, tolerate, make excuses for but just to forgive and move on, take back my power over my life. I never saw him again untill he was in a casket. It was very sad but he missed out not me because I gained peace. I wish he had changed but I couldn\'t make him and eventually I stopped trying. It was then that my life became about me. Sorry to go on so long but I thought it might help, I hope it does.
I wish you peace, and gods blessings,
Cindy
Sorry to hear how your family is treating you. I get some fed up with family sometimes they only worry about there life, when they need help the don\'t have a problem asking but when you have a problem forget about any of them being there for you.
Just know we are hear for you.
Donna
hang in there you don\'t need to deal with them or there drinking. if they can\'t understand that its there lose
so sorry for having such a hard time
hope things work out for you
thoughts and prayers
hugsssssssssss
gerri