Hello Not having a good day but I will continue. I will start at around year 2000. I'm a sunday school teacher,joey's school move but he rides the bus,Anthony is playing high school soccer,Ralph is still working his own business but he's sick off and on. Money is always tight.I was taking loratab on a need to basis and seeing the pain clinic once a month. My back wasn't to bad. I took cortozone shots and it help. But they couldn't tell me how long it would last.I was taking meds for migraines and see neurologist about every 6 months. On 9 11 I was in bed with a headache and Joey called from school and said that the terrorist had attack us and scared me to death. I went to pick up Joey and made sure anthony made it home. We watch the TV for days. In July 2002 I started getting run down and didn't know why. Me a person who don't weigh on scales very many times was losing weight without knowing it. By November 2002 I lost 100 lbs and they found a tumor on my pancreas. So in Nov the doctor went in to do biopsy. Well the doctor screwed up and after many weeks of being sick and not being able to keep my food or meds down I had a tube in my shoulder to feed me and a tube in my stomach to drain my stomach. I was puking (forgive the language)three or four times a day and they couldn't figure out why. I went in and out of the hospital until three days before christmas. My doctor then said that I had a tumor on my ovary but first we had to have the tumor on my pancreas fix. I went home with a catherter because I couldn't pee and spent christmas with the family. My dad actually came to see me. We don't talk much he drinks and smokes and so does my step mother so we don't visit much.The day after christmas I got sickier and my temp went up. I saw the doctor but he did nothing except schedule me with a urologist. That afternoon my temp went higher and mom was putting ice under my arms and then my temp went 104 and I passed out in the bathroom. My went kind of bizerk and called for a ambulance. My head and stomach was hurting bad. I ended up going to a different doc and a different hospital. Mom was happy I got away from my other doc. So my new doc got my records and films from the other hospital and told me the tumor was blocking my intestines, the tube was causing an infection, so the 2nd on January 2003 I had major surgery and the doctor rearrange my intestines around the tumor. Remove the tumor and my ovaries. The tumor embedded in my urether so they put a stint in the urether until it heals. I was in the hospital for two weeks and then release with a feeding tube,drainage tube. I slept in the living room with pull out bed and had a nurse come see me twice a week. At this time we had lots of kittens and we were giving them away.Ralph was getting where he was having a rough time working. Anthony was driving to school and the next door neighbor was taking Joey to bus stop with her son.I got sick once again and went in hospital and it was a urinary infection. I had a catheter and antibiotics and 8 days in hospital. I still had the feedig tube until March and then it finally came out. I finally got to take my meds again and had to sign up again with the pain clinic with new doctor. I was starting to have lots of pain so they put me on more meds for pain. Methdone was my med.I was already taking meds for my stomach,meds for my headaches and now meds for chronic pain.I went back and forth to dotors and cat scans of the tumor on my pancreas. My doctor said that he talk to a NF specialist and they said not to remove tumor unless it started to grow. So far no growth and its Nov 2007. I did find a growth under my arm but it end up being a infection. I had episodes of stomach pain and had more meds. I went to the pain clinic every month for more meds.Not knowing that the methadone would make me worse in a way.I had more pain and got more methadone.By 2005 Ralph stop his business and sign up for disability and it took two years and two months to get it. Anthony graduated in 2004 and was defense player of the county for the year in soccer. Joey was doing good in school but probably have to go a extra year to graduate so that would be 2008. Ralph stayed sick and depress and came a time when he thought about suicide.He stayed on the couch most the time.I stayed on the computer when I wasn't going to doctor appts. I help start a chronic pain support group in Feb 2006. I made many friends and we supported each other through good and bad days.We plan a get together in Tn in 2006. We counted down the days.Well enough for now more later.