I know I haven't been here for awhile. I really do not know how I am doing. I know that I am functioning throughout the day, but with no true happiness. I know its only been 6 months since my husband died but I feel like it was yesterday. After being with someone thur all stages of life since you were 15 yrs. old. how do you walk alone??. Theres days where I really don't feel well and I will be just asking God to take me now because that is what I want. Then I will feel that I need to be strong and happy for my 2 adult children, a beautiful grandaughter and another on the way, due in May. I just get so confused. I still sometimes feel like I am in some kind of dream, nightmare, and that I am going to find out it is not real, then I will realize that No, this is it, this is the rest of my life. A life without Jim which I have never really had. Married right out of high school, and married for almost 35 yars. I know I need to find the tools to adapt, but get soooooo tired of dealing with everything!! I thank all of you for your caring, your support. I come on this computer (which I am not great at , as you can tell) and look so forward to hearing from all of you. I look forward to hearing from you because you are the "people" in my life whom "truly" understand. Love, Alice
Replies
Dear Alice,
I know you must be sick of hearing time heals,but please hang in there.I dont really know if its true that time heals its only been 8mths for me.But thats what everybody told me and they seem to be right.I know I feel better than I did.I dont think I\'ll ever be the same though.And I also know there will be set backs and to expect them.Thats what I love about this site,is although it sucks that we have to be here,every one of us has experienced the same thing at one time or another.So when your getting advice you are getting it from someone that has walked a mile in your shoes.Please know that you are in my thoughts.And take care of yourself,Your friend,Lori
it is a tough road there are good days bad day numb days but you know when you feel like you feel now we are just a click away warm big big hugs
Alice,your heart is still broken. you spent most of your life with hubby and now are struggling to go on without him. I understand!! It will take much time to heal. Perhaps a therapist can help you through the grief? I hope you are getting lots of love from your children. I\'m sure you are a beautiful(grand)mother. Peace~Katie
I have been told that all the feeling\'s you mentioned are normal for one that is grieving. This journey we all seem to be traveling in is a tough one. We have good day\'s and then we have bad day\'s.
If only this emotional roller coaster of a ride can be smooth.
Taking one day at a time is all we can do, even though we may get tired of hearing that.
I too married very young, married right of high school. For 33 years my life was centered around my husband and now my life is being alone without him. It\'s a reality I have a hard time excepting, even after 14 months.
Everyone of us on this site is traveling the same road, we all understand each others feelings. There are so many beautiful and loving people on this site who continue to pick me up when ever I fall. Also my children & grandchildren give me reason to go on even though I admit, I would rather be with my husband Jesse. Hang in there my friend, we will make it, we all will.....Hugs -n- love going your way...Stella
Hi Sweetie, I am so sorry you are feeling so bad, it is an unreal feeling, it has been 6 months for me too ! Last night I was imaging Mark coming in the door from work with a dunkin donuts coffee in his hand for me with a quirky little smile on his face, asking me what I wanted for supper ! Imagine that.
And of course I broke down it hurts ALL the time Alice, I try and find stuff to do on weekends but I still have to come home and hes not here. I never want to feel like this again ! I wish I had grandchildren and kids close by but its just me. but.........this is the way God wants it so I can\'t do anything about it, be strong my friend as you can be and we love you !! Norma
Alice, I am so sorry that you are not having a good day. I am the say way you are. I look forward to when I can get to the computer and see all my new friends on DS. This is the highlight of my day. Please know that you are in my heart and my thoughts. Love your friend, MJ
Wow. Kinda like reading my own song. Confused. Am I coming or going? Forgetting why I went into the kitchen! Asking questions that I knew did not have any answer. Crying and cussing.
Listening to what my friends here were telling me and trying to make sense out of it all. Just take ONE-DAY-AT-A-TIME. You\'ll hear this a lot and it\'s the only way to go. Do what\'s in front of you to do, and when done, go on to the next. It will be slow. There will be setbacks, and God knows we\'ve all had them. Above all, developing and keeping a positive outlook will work miracles for you. Take care, Alice. Joe
Yes, I can totally relate to how you\'re feeling Alice, especially the feeling that the loss feels so much like a bad dream that you will wake up from.
I think in my case, nine months later I am still trying to make sense of what happened with the passing of my partner. Like yours, it was also sudden, but his was heart failure.
I keep having reoccuring images of him in the hospital bed passed on. Since he was dead, the staff already cleared the room and he was repositioned ready to go to the morgue. There are no words that can describe the horror of that moment for me.
Taking one day at a time is the best advice. Looking down the road too much will be too overwhelming. Recovery is a long slow process.
James