I am hoping to be able to receive and to get help from this site. My husband of 35 yrs. died on July l6, 2007. He had a cough for a week then went to the doctor. After a chest exray he was told it was lung cancer. He never smoked, or was around smoking. He was physically fit and was never sick a day in his life. Three days later it was determined that it was small cell cancer and had spread to his liver. We were told that chemo and radiation would probably put it into remission for 6-l2 mth.s After the lst chem treatment blood tests showed that he was reacting well. Four days later he turned janudiced again, We went to the hospital and he was told on his 53rd birthday that it had encased his whole liver and there was nothing more that could be done. He was told that he had just weeks. WE went home the next day and two days later he died. We never got to really talk because we still had not even realized this illness to begin with. Then it did not really sink in that he had weeks, let alone days. I am totally devastated. We were junior high sweethearts. WE just lived for each other. How do you even attempt to go on???????????
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Dear Alicea,
I just read your post. I can so relate to your pain. We were married for 46 years before my husband died Apr. 10, 2007. It was totally unexpected, too. He just had a hernia operation a week before - didn\'t even have the stitches out yet. It was supposed to be routine. Anyway, that day he just had some morning coffee with the neighbor and complained of pains in his lower back. They got worse, and we took him to the ER. Before I knew it they had me in the Crying Room! They said he had an aortic aneurism which burst and there was no hope, but they still wanted to airlift him to another hospital about 35 miles away. We got ourselves together and raced down there, but they said the same thing. He was in such pain, they had to put him in restraints! I was totally in shock. I couldn\'t stand it anymore. I told them I just didn\'t want him to suffer anymore. So, we watched him die. No goodbyes, no final words - nothing. That breaks my heart. Everything gone in one day. The grief journey, I\'m afraid, is a painful one. You will go through gut-wrenching sobs and be on an emotional roller coaster. You\'ll want to scream and to vent. That\'s OK. That\'s what this site is for. We\'re all in this together, and we try to support each other. I will be here for you if you want me to be. My prayers are with you.
I lost my husband of 43 years only 24 days ago from stomach cancer he didn\'t know he had. He was real sick one week, felt tired the next, the third week he was in the hospital geting the news. I am going one day at a time,that is only way I can cope. Sometimes I am doing something and remember something we did or said and I will burst into tears. We brought him home thru Hospice on a Sat. afternoon and he died early Tuesday morning. There was nothing they could do, just a fast moving type. He asked if monthly check-ups would have caught it. They said no, not unless there was a specific complaint. That there was no screening for his type. He had\'nt really felt sick, just got tired sooner. Our one son who lives 5 hours away came home the day after he went to the hospital and stayed so we could all say goodbye, but we weren\'t really prepared. Our daughter was able to take time off of work and came and stayed. Our other son stayed as much as he could. But I guess it was his time to go. God puts us here, some longer then others. Several women I know have been widowed at least 15 years and they say it does get better, but they still miss their husbands. So I guess you do as best you can, stay busy, cry, talk to people who know what you are going thru. Good luck and lots of hugs. Dusk1
I have read your post, Alicea, and I feel for you. I still can\'t decide if it is better to know what is to come or for it to just happen. For me, it was the latter, and my darling husband died of a brain aneurism. I tried CPR, and it didn\'t work, as of course it wouldn\'t - but for me it has been guilt because I felt I should have been able to do SOMETHING! That was nine months ago, and I am just now beginning to feel a bit like a human being again. I am glad for you that your children are so close. They are such a comfort, though it is tough for family to help each other as we are all feeling the same things - that is why this site is SOOO good. People here feel, or have felt, the same things as we do. Their comfort and encouragement are priceless. It has been the best thing for me and I hope it will be good for you. Love and prayers to you. Megg