Wondering...
So it's cd31 and I'm left wondering. Will my cycle only be 34 days, or will it be the max of 38 days? Yeah, I'm totally pessimistic about this cycle and totally believe that because I missed my LH surge with the LH tests, that I also missed my timing. Then again, this month was pretty much bust for BDing anyway with everyone suddenly demanding time from us and then either overstaying their welcome or leaving us left to their devices and timing.
I'm going to talk to DH about next cycle. I'm going to invest in a good OPK and I'm going to make sure we BD when we need to! Even if it means we have to turn down our new friends and old friends alike! I'm tired of things not going the way WE planned on it going because everyone else thinks THEY are more important than our TTC and we're too caught up in our own thoughts/depression to realize that we're being pushovers!
TTC while I'm going to school and he's working full time may not be easy, but damn it, we're going to work at it. We have 2 cycles of Letrozole left and I seriously do NOT want to go down the IUI route. Yes, I know it works, but we can't afford it! There's NO ONE we can turn to for loans and frankly I'm scared to go that route, I'm scared of all that money spent, all that work done and still getting negatives! I've been putting on a brave face and trying to hide it, but IF has me scared. There's so much unknown in front of me that I can't see anything and it scares me! It feels like I'm stepping through a black doorway and hoping there's a floor on the other side and not just a giant hole.
I feel like I've got no support. I haven't spoken to my RE in months; my mother continues to flounder around the subject, not knowing what to say or do; my dad is too tired to focus on anything but his cancer; my eldest brother has so many problems he can't even begin to think about mine; my other brother hasn't a clue how to even be there for himself let alone me; my in laws don't even know what's going on; and my friends don't know how to help. I'm just lost and don't know where to go or what to do anymore...
I'm going to talk to DH about next cycle. I'm going to invest in a good OPK and I'm going to make sure we BD when we need to! Even if it means we have to turn down our new friends and old friends alike! I'm tired of things not going the way WE planned on it going because everyone else thinks THEY are more important than our TTC and we're too caught up in our own thoughts/depression to realize that we're being pushovers!
TTC while I'm going to school and he's working full time may not be easy, but damn it, we're going to work at it. We have 2 cycles of Letrozole left and I seriously do NOT want to go down the IUI route. Yes, I know it works, but we can't afford it! There's NO ONE we can turn to for loans and frankly I'm scared to go that route, I'm scared of all that money spent, all that work done and still getting negatives! I've been putting on a brave face and trying to hide it, but IF has me scared. There's so much unknown in front of me that I can't see anything and it scares me! It feels like I'm stepping through a black doorway and hoping there's a floor on the other side and not just a giant hole.
I feel like I've got no support. I haven't spoken to my RE in months; my mother continues to flounder around the subject, not knowing what to say or do; my dad is too tired to focus on anything but his cancer; my eldest brother has so many problems he can't even begin to think about mine; my other brother hasn't a clue how to even be there for himself let alone me; my in laws don't even know what's going on; and my friends don't know how to help. I'm just lost and don't know where to go or what to do anymore...
Replies
I feel like whenever its the time in our cycle to BD life always throws a cuve ball and makes it nearly impossible to stay on schedule. Its so frustrating!!! I\'m sorry that you\'re dealing with so many obstacles and frustrations right now on your journey. Support is so important for this journey but I too have found that the longer it goes on the less I want to lean on people around me, instead I have looked more and more to the women here on DS.
Thinking of you friend and praying that you and your hubby find the best path for the 2 of you.
((HUGS))
I hope your timing works out this cycle. Its so disappointing when you miss the window to BD. I wish I had a magic wand for all of us on here.....this infertility shit is no fun. We are here for you my friend. Xoxo
Thanks ladies, I appreciate your comments and support!