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I thought I could change my life but, for what I'm facing no way. My mother loves one sibling more than the other sibling. My mother and siblings hate me for being on dissability. All think I am a loser accept the eldest felt sorry for me and we were close, but now she has no time for me. My life is a waist. I ask is God punishing me for being born when my mom conceive me. She said I was her punishment as a teen. It hurt me through years. Now at 50 years of age, I am alone, and a loner not by choice. It just I don't have a life worth a---.  I can't even meet a man to love me and never leave me. At 30 I married and had a abusive alcoholic husband and I divorce him. I been single for 9 miserable years. I couldn't work anymore because, my husband gave me a nervous break down. I was diagnose with major depression anxiety and crazy panic attacks. I use to be a happy person teaching with love in my heart but, I have no life now. I am as good as dead.