Hello Everyone,I have just joined this site and am already excited to have others to share this with. I am 38 years old, married for a year and a half and have just gone thru one failed IVF cycle that resulted in chemical pregnancy. We are planning to start another next cycle provided that the cysts from the previous one have dissolved. I am grateful to read that the way that I have been feeling is normal for what we are all going through. I have felt depressed for almost two years now- since we started trying to conceive and discovered that my hormone levels were off. It just feels like a self imposed prison. I have very little interest in the things that one interested me and am moody and irritable more often then not. Have definetly thought that life will not be worth living if we can't have a child. Yet I feel such shame for "feeling sorry for myself" I have a friend with stage 3 ovarian cancer and she has yet to complain to me once! I dont feel like I can discuss how I am really feeling with my husband- he is a physician and somehow I think that he thinks that other women dont take this as hard as I do which of course makes me feel resentful and angry. I miss the woman that I was before all of this started- was happy, vibrant, ambitious and motivated- yet somehow I feel like a shell of my former self. My husband is not open to adoption which I also find painful- I am adopted myself and cannot imagine spending my life childless. I am sorry that this entry is one long complaint but that is honestly how I m feeling today. My self esteem has been shattered through this and I am trying to pull myself up by my bootstraps and get back to a shadow of my former self. I have been doing acupunture and herbs for over a year now and strongly recommend them- the change in my hormone levels has been nothing short of miraculous.