28w1d

Well....I dont even know where to begin. Im finally in my third trimester 70% of the way there. I cant believe it. Only 12 more weeks give or take and I'll be holding my little man in my arms. When I think about it I start to panic. I cant believe after all the years and money we are finally going to have a baby. Then I start thinking about how I could have possibly thought I was ready for a baby. Is this normal, does every expectant mother go through this stage? I love Brayden more than anything and I have wanted a baby for so long but now I'm doubting if we were ready? Is anyone ever really ready mentally or financially? I think I've been more stressed lately because we've been having alot of financial difficulties. I dont know if I've told you guys this before or not, sorry if I have. A little over 2 years ago my husband was in a car accident and his back got hurt. He was off work for almost a full year before he was able to go back. During the year he was on short than long term disibilty which was only a percentage of his pay. So that caused us to get behind. We had to use credit cards for things such as Christmas, birthdays, and such. Well he went back to work for about 3 months and his ankles started causing him trouble, giving out on him. One day his ankle gave out on him when he was going down stairs and he had alot of pulled tendons and stuff. Of course he couldnt work because his job requires him to walk alot. Well after a few months and it wasnt getting better he had to go see specialist and we found out he had tendonitis. They said it probably wont get better on its own because of his weight and if he has surgery he has a 50/50 chance of either it fixing the problem or causing him to not be about to walk at all. Always he was off work for almost another year. During which he was on long term disibilty and still getting just a percentage of his pay. We talked and decided he would never be able to return to the type of work he was doing and he needed to look for another job...so he went back to where he worked along time again answering phones. Not his dream job but all he can do for now. Luckly he knows alot of people thats are high up there hes hardly ever on the phones and he helps out with other things. They want him to be a supervisor but he says he doesnt think he wants to do it. Hes making decent money but we are so far behind and in debt that we cant get caught up. Dont get me wrong all my bills are paid they are just always late never more than a month-month and a half, but being behind is stressing us both out so much. On top of all that we're dealing with Christmas and trying to get ready for the baby. Well enough about that atleast I have a beautiful healthy baby on the way wether I'm ready for him or not. I had a great Christmas. My mom got me a laptop case (I've been carrying my laptop around in a bookbag), an all in one printer-scanner-copier, a 8" digital picture frame, and a bunch of other things. My MIL got me a new set of dishes (I've been wanting a set for sooooo long because mine are all chipped and the other set I cant use in the microwave). My husband got me a new digital camera that has smile detection so when the baby smiles it will automaticly take a picture and he also got me this really beautiful necklace that has a mother holding a baby. Although we didnt have alot of money to spend for Christmas we both ended up having a very wonderful Christmas....Brayden also. I think he got more stuff than us. My MIL got him this really adorable rocking horse and when you press his ears he makes noises. Some other people got him books, bibs, and diapers and my husband aunt got me a memory set thats silver and you put there first tooth and curl in them and it had a spoon and fork. Its very pretty. So we all had a great Christmas.I still havent heard back from the doctor about rescheduling my appointment or about my sugar test. I've called them 3 times within the last week or so. When you call you get the regular OB/GYN office you do get to talk to a living person but since I'm high risk they have to transfer me to a answering machine and I have to leave a message. It makes NO sense to me at all. The regular and high risk are in the same room ones on the left side and ones on the right side and the same people are receptionist for both sides so tell me why I have to leave a message? I have no clue, but they will NOT call me back. Its driving me mad!!! When you go to the doctor there they dont let you schedule your next appointment they just give you an appointment. If you cant keep it you have to call and reschedule. I've had to do this twice and its taken about 2 weeks and 3 or more phone calls before they finally called back. Well with my appointments going to every 2 weeks now I think this is going to be a BIG problem. There has to be an easier solution. In the beginning keeping the appointment wasnt hard but now its getting harder. I work in a financial institution with 8 other women and out of the 9 of us theres 3 of us pregnant. So scheduling around everyone is a little hard. But still waiting for like 2 weeks to call back is just CRAZY!Well I better stop rambling for now. I guess I had alot of my mind today. Thanks for reading if you still are and having fallen asleep yet. LOL Hugs Monica.