Feeling down

I know I only had my son two weeks ago but things still don't feel right. Things still feel off with me and my husband I'm at home all day with both boys and he seems like he doesn't want to be home he come home takes a nap then Tuesday threw Thursday he has football practice and has games on Saturday but when he is here its like he doesn't even want to sit by me. It could be cause he knows we can do anything sexually but I have had the baby blues and anxiety and kinda just need him to hold me. And I have very very low self esteem right now which doesn't help anything. The part I hate the most I'm breast feeding and my son has to go back to the doctor for the third time to check his weight cause he's not gaining weight. I feel like an unwanted wife and a crap mother