Hi all my lovely friends!
I really need to update right now, I'm home alone and feel so depressed I don't even want to call anyone...even my MUM who I ALWAYS call when I am down and out. I'm so exhausted, Endo and all it's associated woman problems are really killing my spirit. You know how some days you feel like the fighter you know you are and always have been, and somedays you wonder, you just wonder what it's all for in the end. I say I am a "Survivor" but I'm not surviving, I'm barely getting by, I'm doing it for everyone else and yes to a degree for me. This isn't a woe oh me, it's a I'm finding this hard to deal with right now.
I started university, actually going to uni, no more distance ed, although I am lucky my university offers distance ed, so it's an option. Week 1, I am exhausted, in agony more then usual. I have friends who offer to go out with me...but all I can think of is "gee I hope I make it home safe, Im so sore and exhausted."
My last doctor gave up on me the one I spun praise for, the one who wouldn't give up on me, I spent 15-20 minutes crying in his carpark, even Jase was amazed at what he did. He just shook and fumbled, not even seeming like he was sure of himself or what he was saying. He neglected to tell me anything about my surgery and completely swept over the fact my endo was back and spoke as though "it'll be all gone now" and sent me off without any option other then "come back in 2 months"...to what? Tell him what I could have told him then...it didn't help. Jase was so concerned, he is so angry at him, he said "I can't believe it, he was so obviously WORRIED, but he didn't tell you, he lied to you, he wasn't even believing what he was telling you and he knew you didn't believe it, he couldn't wait to get you out of there!" You know, somedays, what hurts more (emotionally) is the pain these doctors cause Jase, he trusted them and they continue to hurt his trust, it's ok for me to not trust them and their no margin for error promises to me, but I hate them breaking his spirit so badly. He needs that, he needs that hope, it keeps me going, it keeps him going.
I have an appointment on march 15th with a new doctor, recommended by a fellow sufferer.
Lets hope he helps!
G2g Jase is home
xoxo
I really need to update right now, I'm home alone and feel so depressed I don't even want to call anyone...even my MUM who I ALWAYS call when I am down and out. I'm so exhausted, Endo and all it's associated woman problems are really killing my spirit. You know how some days you feel like the fighter you know you are and always have been, and somedays you wonder, you just wonder what it's all for in the end. I say I am a "Survivor" but I'm not surviving, I'm barely getting by, I'm doing it for everyone else and yes to a degree for me. This isn't a woe oh me, it's a I'm finding this hard to deal with right now.
I started university, actually going to uni, no more distance ed, although I am lucky my university offers distance ed, so it's an option. Week 1, I am exhausted, in agony more then usual. I have friends who offer to go out with me...but all I can think of is "gee I hope I make it home safe, Im so sore and exhausted."
My last doctor gave up on me the one I spun praise for, the one who wouldn't give up on me, I spent 15-20 minutes crying in his carpark, even Jase was amazed at what he did. He just shook and fumbled, not even seeming like he was sure of himself or what he was saying. He neglected to tell me anything about my surgery and completely swept over the fact my endo was back and spoke as though "it'll be all gone now" and sent me off without any option other then "come back in 2 months"...to what? Tell him what I could have told him then...it didn't help. Jase was so concerned, he is so angry at him, he said "I can't believe it, he was so obviously WORRIED, but he didn't tell you, he lied to you, he wasn't even believing what he was telling you and he knew you didn't believe it, he couldn't wait to get you out of there!" You know, somedays, what hurts more (emotionally) is the pain these doctors cause Jase, he trusted them and they continue to hurt his trust, it's ok for me to not trust them and their no margin for error promises to me, but I hate them breaking his spirit so badly. He needs that, he needs that hope, it keeps me going, it keeps him going.
I have an appointment on march 15th with a new doctor, recommended by a fellow sufferer.
Lets hope he helps!
G2g Jase is home
xoxo
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