Another Day

Well I thought I better do some updating since I havn't for awhile, and a load of washing is soon to finish, then I'm going to get stuck into a little bit of uni work I have set aside for today then have a sort of relaxing day since I've been so stressed the last two days and have been keeping up with my uni work anyway! I guess I'll consider my light workload today sort of a "good on you" for keeping up anyway!
Well, I'll start with Wednesday and my doctors appointment with the Professor. He was HORRIBLE, he had NO intention of helping me with that I wanted to ask and tell him, and made me in the process feel about '2 feet tall'. I've always had this feeling with him, but he IS the best in this state, every single doctor has told me that, stating "I wouldn't send you to anyone better, I couldn't there is no one better, he is the best for your type of issue". So mostly, I take it in my stride.  He did an internal ultrasound and feeling around, I was very tender on the top of my stomach, and well it appears only 1 ovary was visable in my ultrasound and it appeared fine (I didn't have a full bladder, there was no request to). I didn't ask him about pain medication, or about how I bled after sex (TMI I know but it's my journal so deal with it =P ) I just wanted to get out of there. He said I have the option of the LAST drug avaliable to me OR the major operation, I picked the operation... I've been a guinea pig for drugs for the last 11 years,  want somethign DONE, not a trial to see if it works and then I find out it doesn't like time and time before! So, I have my referral, I go on the 1st of June, 6.45pm and Jase is coming with me =)
Im going to have to work out a plan of attack with him untill I can get it done though, I hope he doesn't charge out and above, if he does I'll be going on the waiting list. I can't get it done untill around Novemeber untill my university finished for the year, I want to be able to recouperate not have to worry about getting good grades. Untill then I'm going to do whatever he says will help with my pain etc. It ALSO gives me some time to think about money if he does charge a LITTLE bit out and above, I ahve some saving and my mum and dad are determined to help me out, they hate hearing of how I am, in so much pain etc.
I was so down after the appoint. SO SO SO very down, but I feel much better today, I guess everyone has those days don't they? I just kept wondering where my life was going in RE: to a career, but I just need to keep working at my goal, thats all I can do, in the next 4 years at the absolute MOST I'll have a degree, if I can get in doing the course im doing now, more 2 years or so. I am doing the best I can, and one I know besides the women on here suffers with this, and especially at my age. My goals may take longer to reach because I also have my health to battle, it however does NOT mean I will not reach them. I will, because it's what I want! =)
So...after a pretty hectic couple of days, I'm deciding to finish off with 1.5 paragraph's of an essay and just relax for today. Hopefully fix it all up next week. I have 3 weeks as of today to have it done and submitted so I am going well! Over the weekend or on Monday, I'm also going to submit another assignment I have done =) Yay! Almost semester break and then RELAXATION in Bali! =D



I don\'t know if you know or ever talk with Jenny on here, she is one of my really good friends, and she has been EXTREMELY helpful to me. If you ever have a chance or feel like you should talk to her. But she helped me to realize that as far as dealing with pain you have to talk with the doctors, tell them exactly what\'s going on and what you need. You have to be confident and realize that you really are dealing with tremendous amounts of pain and it needs to be dealt with.

I know on a personal level that the pain has literally been destroying my life. I usually start hurting a week before me period and it generally lasts til about a week after my period, and even after that there are still days where I have some pain, although it\'s not as bad as it is during the period pain. But it feels very much like I am in labor. It\'s annoying and has caused me to be able to spend very little time with my daughter (without having the pain medications to help). It\'s caused me to basically have to put off working, which I can\'t afford and caused me to get behind in classes. I was even considering changing careers back at the beginning of this quarter because I was worried I would be wasting money on something that I would not be able to do when I finished schooling because of needing to stand to do my job consistently.

Anyway, back to what I was saying. You have to build up the confidence in yourself. You have to realize that you deserve to be comfortable and express this to your doctor. You know I am here if you need to talk. And I am glad that you are determined to do what you NEED to do to finish schooling and be happy. I\'ve learned that that is one of the main things that gets you through life, is do what makes you happy, but also remember that you have responsibilities. Find a good balance between the two and you\'ll succeed. You should also feel proud because for a 19 year old (you are 19 correct?) you seem to have your head on pretty straight. You have your priorities in line and you seem to manage your time well. Good for you for giving yourself a treat for being all caught up on your school work. I spent the time not on my period of having the extreme pain getting ahead so that when the pain came (this was before I got to the dr) I would be able to take it a little easier and give myself a break.

Good luck to you!

Thankyou! =)
Yes I do talk to Jenny sometimes, she\'s wonderful =) she is theotherchick, right? I want to make sure I have the right lady! =/

You\'re right I do need to be confident and it\'s something I MUST work on... Im not very confident at all and it causes me more harm in the long run (with pain and such).
The Doctor told me to go back whenever I need more pain meds etc, he is very good! at the moment thankfull my pain is settling, not completely but I can manage it, during the end of the day though it can get pretty severe.

I am 19 yes :) 20 in August, I hope I have a head on my shoulders! I try really hard, I guess sometimes the things we want take a little longer to achieve =)

Thankyou for all the support and the great ear to listen to my venting with. I\'m always here for you also. I\'m SO SO SO glad you\'ve got some comfort in your pain meds!



Just to let you know....It is really kind of a plus to take extra time for the degree. You get much more mature and mush wiser in just a couple of years at that age. There is no rush at all. You have years and years to finish if it has to be like that. The only important thing is that you don\'t give up. That\'s the issue here.
Please believe me on this one. I work with these guys and I can tell you that just because a person is the best in there field...HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WEATHER THERE A JERK OR NOT!!!!! These guys have massive egos and being good and being an asshole seem to go together for some reason. Tate....good isn\'t the same as nice and caring with these guys. Some of them are not even nice human beings so don\'t be too upset...its not you.
good luck