Haven't had much time to be on the site lately. Partly because of an extremely busy schedule and a little bit because being constantly submerged in this subject matter is difficult. I find myself daydreaming about the way things used to be. It might have something to do with my birthday happening. Last year I turned the big three zero and was nearly forgotten by friends and family. My wife was the only one that gave me special treatment. I'd give anything to feel that way again. Birthdays become less and less important as you get older, but this one seems to sting. Details of my separation are starting to get more serious. Financial and time constraints are making my separation seem impossible. I really just wish I could escape it for a moment. If I could relive my last birthday I would.