i don't even have the energy to explain the emptiness and numbness i feel right now. in 2 and half hours it will be the exact time a year ago that CJ died... right next to me. and at the time i was torn between knowing it and denying it. and i chose denial for a good week. while i was in the hospital i acted as if nothing was wrong. and when i got out i could no longer pretend. and now here i am a year later and all i want to do is pretend.
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You are not alone. I usually tell myself that I\'m away shopping or that he\'s away doing somthing with his friends. But, it\'s been a long time I have seen him. I can only hope that my home one day will be with him again. Although, I know that will be a very long time.