CJ's birthday..... "23" but he's still 22 to me... forever. my 22 year old crazy angel. the boy who stole my heart. made me fall in love. the only one whoever got me. understood me. loved me for who i was completely. completed me. gave my life meaning. it's so hard now to separate myself from that world. from that person. from that girl that was in love with that boy. i don't know how to be someone else. i don't know how to not be in love with CJ. it's been this way for so long i don't know how to exist differently. every day of my life i wrapped around him. my thoughts, my dreams, my plans... everything was CJ for so long. now i don't know how to pick myself up. i don't know how to be me. i don't know who me is. i'm lost. i'm empty. i'm lonely. and i long for the past. i went to wake up and it be jan 2005 or june 2005. or july 2006. or jan 2007. anything that is before my world fell apart. the pieces came crashing down and i haven't been able to put them back together since. i feel like my emptiness has swallowed me whole. how do i escape from this life?