almost 6 months. i can hear everything you once said to me. i can hear you promise me we would get married and have kids. i can hear the words you would sing to me. i can hear your laugh that was so contagious.i can see your smile that lit up a place. i can see your big brown eyes that were so honest. i can see those tears that would roll down your cheek when we would fight. i can see your puffy hair that i would play with for hours.it hurts again CJ. and i can try to deny it all but it will never be ok. you know you were the one thing that just made me feel whole. you were the only place i felt i belonged. i am so lost CJ. i can't pick myself up anymore. why can't you save me now the way you used to. don't you remember our song.. "and maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me. and afterall you're my wonderwall." CJ you're my wonderwall. why aren't you saving me anymore? i just want to give up and never try again. i don't want to smile or laugh or feel.
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Sweetie, while you can hear CJ, and see his smile and his eyes, while you can see his tears, and remember the things you did together, he is still with you.
Don\'t give up. You won\'t believe me now, but it will get a little better. Keep the memories.
Don\'t give up, He\'s still with you he just watching now but he will always be there to protect you! Just hiding like the presents. Lots of love to you
wow we are so much the same it scares me.
i hear ya hun. the one and only thing that keeps me givin and tryin as lil as i can right now is the fact that my boy is helpin me and walking everystep of this journey with me and i think he\'d be crushed if i were to give up completely (which dont get me wrong---i do alot but im tryin). it sucks, we dont want to do it, they were the one person we held above everyone and everything, they magnified our better half, we were one cloud 9 and the happiest we had ever been and i bet it was the same for you as it was for me---we felt like bein with them was EXACTLY where we were meant to be in out life and that our future was so completely perfect because we has them and above all, we ...were.... BEYOND HAPPY!
i am with you so much sweetie. please continue leanin on me, as i will also lean on you. remember-- fate is a funny thing and for us to both be on this website and both have veryyyy similar situations... i call that meant to be.
im with you darling*
I feel for you. i question the same things .. feel the same things and hurt the same way .. i long to hear ryan telling me we were going to get married and laughing about the names he thought of for our kids. watching those same tears roll down his face when we were fighting .. seeing that silly smirk when i did something that made no sense but he loved me anyway. it hurts and it hurts so bad. i miss ryan so much. it\'s almost been seven months now since ryan died and it seems like just yesterday that i was kissing him goodbye .. laying next to him at night .. hearing him say i love you. why does it hurt so bad?