cj my love stick by me. don't let me fall apart now i feel like i have finally begun to make progress.. but i think tonight maybe i just need to cry. i have been holding back for too long. i need you angel. please know how much i love you. i wish you never left me... why did you have to leave me? and why couldn't i go with you? they say in most accidents the driver lives and the passenger dies.. so why cj.. why did you die and i live? it just doesn't make sense. you should be here. i love you. i can never let you go. </3
Replies
Oh, sweetie, such a sad journal AND it is OK to cry - why shouldn\'t you. Of course you miss that lovely young man, and don\'t bottle it up inside, it gets to be overwhelming in the end.
We all cry, and we all ask the same questions you are asking - and none of us can answer them. Just know we are thinking of you, and hurt for you - you are so young to be going through this.
Wishing you a warm sunny day tomorrow, and some peace for your sore heart.
cry, scream, blame him, blame yourself, blame god. get it all out. i used to pull over on the side of the road and do all of that screaming and then go home. This doesn\'t go away , but i promise you the days get better. the time between days you think you can\'t go on gets longer. you will have good days mixed with bad and then mostly good. it just takes along time. hope you are ok today.
YEsterday I had a long awaited cry. I had held my sadness for a while and it all hit me hard yesterday. I try to be so strong all the time, but I had the opportunity to be alone yesterday and I just held the picture of me and Andy at my wedding in my arms and cried and screamed. Then I just passed out form exhaustion. I know just how you feel sweetie. I dont cry as often as I used to, but when I do, I get relief. You are in my prayers. I know he is taking care of you and watching over you. He can hear you, so talk to him.
Love, Sarah
thank you all of you. i guess i\'ve just been running from the feeling for a while now. sometimes i just don\'t want to feel so i don\'t think about any of it.. but it often comes on me hard when i avoid it for too long. this is just so unreal.. i just don\'t believe it.