Here we go again...
I went in for my SHG today. The ultrasound tech took me back and did a quick external, and then an internal. During the internal, my doctor walked in, looked at the screen and then looked at me very grimly and seriously and said, "We're not doing the SHG. I'm scheduling you for a lap immediately."
I was good though, I held it together and didn't cry as he showed me my left ovary on the screen. I had a giant endometrioma removed from it less that three months ago, and he pointed to a giant structure on it. He didn't want to call it a cyst, he said he felt more comfortable calling it a "thing". He then showed me the same thing on the right and then showed me how both of my ovaries are significantly larger than my uterus.
He said he will do his best to preserve some of my ovarian tissue, but can't make any promises. He said that he's NOT going to try to save my tubes, because those are the least of his concern. If they are diseased, they are coming out. And he said that my uterus looks good on ultrasound, so he probably won't have to do anything major to it. I am now terrified...TERRIFIED...that I am going to wake up from surgery with no ovaries. TERRIFIED.
He didn't set a date yet, his secretary will be calling me within a few days to set it up. I was planning on taking the rest of today off, but I decided to go back to work instead. If I go home I will just sit there and cry and feel sorry for myself. At least at work I can distract myself.
Fuck my life. Seriously.
I was good though, I held it together and didn't cry as he showed me my left ovary on the screen. I had a giant endometrioma removed from it less that three months ago, and he pointed to a giant structure on it. He didn't want to call it a cyst, he said he felt more comfortable calling it a "thing". He then showed me the same thing on the right and then showed me how both of my ovaries are significantly larger than my uterus.
He said he will do his best to preserve some of my ovarian tissue, but can't make any promises. He said that he's NOT going to try to save my tubes, because those are the least of his concern. If they are diseased, they are coming out. And he said that my uterus looks good on ultrasound, so he probably won't have to do anything major to it. I am now terrified...TERRIFIED...that I am going to wake up from surgery with no ovaries. TERRIFIED.
He didn't set a date yet, his secretary will be calling me within a few days to set it up. I was planning on taking the rest of today off, but I decided to go back to work instead. If I go home I will just sit there and cry and feel sorry for myself. At least at work I can distract myself.
Fuck my life. Seriously.
Replies
I\'m so sorry. He is probably just warning you of the worst case scenario. I\'ll be thinking of you and hoping for the best! IF Sucks! Hang in there! Go home if you need to!
hugs hun and so sorry for the news hopefully he wont have to take your tubes and ovaries or at least both of them... I really hope that you get scheduled soon for surgery cause i know how much pain you are in... hugs and hang in there
Wow I am really sorry for all that you are going through. I would be scared also but hopefully he will not have to take out anything major and can just remove the \"thing\". And hopefully this will help with your pain. Hang in there.xoxo
I am so sorry this was the news you got today! I hope and pray for you that your ovaries and tubes will be ok! Hugs to you, we are all here for you!
good luck with your lap and i hope all goes well and the doc can get rid of all the horrid stuff that is the cause of all your pain..you are very strong and i know your ovaries are too!!..:). thinking of you..big hugs
Oh no. I\'m so sorry that your appt. didn\'t go well! I do hope that he\'s able to take care of whatever is causing you so much pain. However, I think you need to sit down with him and be VERY clear that you are TTC and he is to do his best to preserve whatever chances you have, because it\'s also a high priority on your list. A good dr would understand. Good luck to you and do something good for yourself today :-)
Thank you for your support, everyone. It means the world to me. I think I will try to schedule an appointment with him before the surgery to make it clear to him that my fertility is my number one concern right now. The pain I can handle. I\'ve been living with it for more than half my life.