Thank You

I wanted to say thank you to all the support I have received over the last few days.  Tomorrow is our ultrasound.  I will update.  I am scared.  Yet I also don't like the waiting.  I don't like the uncertainty.  All the while knowing today could be the last day I can hope for a miracle.  All the while knowing that there could be a miracle.  It is hard to be faced with this absolute dual reality for days on end.  So while my stomach turns at the thought of tomorrow I am also eager to know something about our baby.  And I wanted to thank everyone for the hugs, the kind messages, the prayers.  If you feel so inclined, keep them coming :)  This Baby is so loved.  This Baby is so very very loved.  I posted a prayer request on Facebook a couple days ago and I have received an outpouring there as well that touches my heart.  But here on DS, I know the full magnitude of what I am going through is truly, truly understood.  
My husband and I have been walking around like shells of our former selves.  This is hard.  There are not words.  He went back to work today after his one week off for "Christmas break".  Not so much of a Christmas break.  It's been a lot of sadness instead.
This was my first day home alone with my daughter since we received uncertain news last Monday.  And I've been nervous how I would get through the day without another adult to support me here at home.  But I woke up with my spirit....a notch or two lighter than the previous days.  And felt stronger.  And I feel someone is lifting me up in prayer.  Someone knows today would be very hard for me.
I wanted to teach my daughter how to do "latch hook".  Because it was something that I knew I could do today.  Relaxing.  Sitting on the couch.  So we went to the store and bought latch hook kits.  I got an owl and she got a rainbow swirl.  When we were in line, a man (maybe 50 years old or so) piped up behind me and said "are those those hook latch kits?"  (He called them hook latch which made me smile:)  And I said yeah remember these?  And he said I used to do those at night when I was over in the Persian Gulf.  It helped me clear my head.  My grandfather had taught me how to do those.
There was something so memorable about this moment for me.  That here I was buying this on this very challenging day for my own self.  Not sure what kind of companion I would be for my daughter.  Yet knowing from days as a child that latch  hook was always relaxing.  And I just found it interesting that someone...especially a male...was connecting with me about latch hook kits and how they can quiet the mind.
It made me smile.  And I thanked him for his service to our country.
Please know there is so much gratitude in my heart.  Thank you for being so good to me always, especially in the past few days.  It brightens my day when I see hugs and messages.  To know that even in your own busy days with your own challenges going on, you are taking a moment to think of me and wish me well.  It has meant to much to me.
Hoping for hope,
Kelly