I am still in shock about my son's death, a week ago yesterday at 7:45 in the morning. I am very depressed and feel very guilty. I long to hold him every second of every day. I often wake up crying and go to bed in tears as well. I love my boyfriend to pieces, he has been so supportive. I started a new job, which sometimes helps distract me. I am in need of some one on one conversation with someone who knows my pain.