It has been 18 days with no contact.  I am so very proud of myself.  I don't think I have ever had this much strength to not try to email him, text him, call him, etc, or at least have a plan to do so.  I also haven't looked him him up on line which is a first as well.  I decided looking him up would be a form of relapsing, along the same lines as trying to contact him because it triggers my weak spots.  I fear "relapsing" and having that disease of him back in my life.  I also fear when hockey season starts and he will be on the TV.  I know I have to just work through it and I hope I am strong enough to do so.  I have been praying for strength and I swear it has been working.  I saw a psycic and she told me that she saw an angel behind me, an angel of protection that is giving me strength because I have needed it the last two weeks.  That was amazing.  What a nice feeling to think something is helping me get through this.  If anyone reads this, pray for me.  Pray for the strength and self love to continue.  I am my focus now and I can only wish good things for him and let go. It is the only option I have left.