where to start........well i will try to keep this as brief as possible, but it doesnt always turn out that way. anyway..... i just need a break from here for a bit. could be one day or the weekend. i am just not doing well at the moment and i dont think i would be any good to anybody and i am just so mentally, emotionally and physically tired at the moment...i just cant do it now. everybody here has been so wonderful to me and i totally appreciate all the love and support you have all given me. trust me, it will never be forgotten. i am not closing my account so, plz feel free to message me or whatever. i will be back i promise. i will be fine so there is no need to be worried. i just need some time to get myself together. like i said before..i dont think i will be any good to anybody right now. once again i am going to be cryptic, because some things are not my place to say...but i will tell you this, i just feel as though things fell apart yesterday. i just dont knnow what to do or feel anymore. even if this didnt happen, this is a difficult time for me anyway. my late long time boyfriend of over 11 yrs's birthday next week and the anniversary of his death will be on aug 6th. that alone is bringing me down, but last night just made everything worse. i will keep my promise to him as i hope he will do for me. i hope so. i have to believe and try to live on hope and as much positivity as i can. i just feel so numb and broken down right now and i am trying my best not to cry. i have to get myself strong and my head back together, which is another why i need a break from here. if this message sounds a bit bleak, i am sorry for that. i promise i wont do anything stupid and i will by fine. last night was just horrible. i felt so destroyed and broken down. i was feeling a bit dizzy and speedy. i guess i also had a bit of a minor panic attack that manisfested itself differently. when i tried to go to sleep late last night, the dizziness continued and i got sick. unfortunately i am one of those people whose face makes it obvious that its been sick. my face gets blotchy. so between getting sick and crying, my face looks like a wreck and i have froggy eyes, which i so hope will go away before work. on top of everything, i am being observed and evalutated in my class this morning. it is mandatory for all teachers who teach summer school. some how, i need to shove everything to the back of my head, wear my "mask", and do the best i can to get thru the day and my eval. i am sure i will be fine today, but it will be a diffiuclt one. i am hoping to take tomorrow off. i would today...but i obviously cant. i just need a break from my hectic class. i hope i dont worry anybody...it wasnt my intention to do so. i just needed to most of this out andlet you guys know of my break. i love all of you guys and trust me i truly do appreciate you all!!! i hope you all will have a good next few days. everybody be strong and hang in there. this is what i will try to do. mindy
Replies
my friend take all the time you need. we will still be here when you get back. so sorry things are so hard for you right now . i am always here to listen . i know wat you mean about a mask. just no you dont have to wear one for me. i love you my friend and stand by you all the way. xxx
We will all be here when you get back. Don\'t stress, you never have to mask it up for us , everyone here is here to listen just as much to be heard. I\'m hearing you loud and clear. Be sure to update us a bit later :-) hope you feel better.
hugs... im here x
It seems to me that your always here for other people. now it\'s time for other people to be here for you. you all ready know how I feel about you and all your help. Please feel better. just remember we love you.
I am sorry to hear that you got sick. I understand the need to take a break every now and then though. You have made me laugh and have been there for me. Just know I will be there for you as well. Take care and you will be in my prayers.
My Dear Sweetpea,
I\'m so sorry that you are feeling down and blue but can understand by reading between the lines. My heart hurts and break for you but you know in your heart that we are here for you so don\'t be afraid to ask.
I can also understand taking a break from all and getting yourself back together again. I will miss you my sweetpea.......but will be here for you when you get back. I will miss your hugs and lovins but here is a TON in return!!!
XOXO
Dee
oh girl! i\'m sorry you are oging through this right now. i understand the feeling of everything faling apart, living on hope, and trying to look at the most positive we can to get us through....
hugs...do the best you can today, that\'s all you can do, and please take care your self!
Hey homegirl, just try to do one thing at a time and dont rush anything. Best thing you can do is to talk to a close freind and get some stuff off your chest. We are here for ya, take care,j.
Hi Mindy! :) You\'ll always have our support angel. :) be sure to take time for yourself. Your health, comes first. We all love you, and care about you, very much. We all want you to be healthy, and happy. :) When you are ready to return, we all will welcome you back, with open arms. :)
i\'m so very sorry, that you are going through a rough time. stay strong, and keep focused on the positives angel. You are in our thoughts and prayers, every day. :)
take very good care. god bless your heart. We send our love, warm friendship wishes, caring thoughts, and lots of big comforting hugs, from CT! :) i hope and pray, that you feel much better, very soon! :)
Dear Mindy,
When I was a teenmy grandfather was very ill and knew that he did not have long to live. These words always comforted me so I quote him \"as long as you hold me in your heart and in your memory then I will continue to live through you. Do not waste your life as you now have the responcibilty to live for both of us.\" It has given me comfort through the years and yes, he still lives in both my heart and in my memory. Your wisdomand happinese will be sadly missed until you get back. Eric
I am here for you Min!Take as long as u need-I will be right here waiting.Please email me (my mchsi.com account)I will be there fast! love ya
TAKE ALL THE TIME YOU NEED. YOU ARE HERE FOR EVERYONE, NOW WE WILL BE HERE FOR YOU. HANG IN THERE. IF YOU NEED TO TALK OR ANYTHING, LET ME KNOW. TAKE CARE.
ROB
I will be thinking of you.
Whatever and whenever you need something from me, just call. I\'ve been afraid something like this might happen. As human beings, we can\'t just keep stowing our hurt, frustration and pain away and expect to walk around and function like a normal person. This was inevitable.
Just know that you are loved, and we all want the very best for you.
Bri
Dear Mindy: Please know .. there r lots of folks who care 4 u and about u .. am here 4 u .. any time u have need .. Big Hugz .. Ray