12/13/07OK IT'S BEEN A LONG WHILE SINCE I WROTE. I STAYED AWAY BECAUSE I TEND TO BE SYCOSAMATIC. I WAS AFRAID THAT IF I STARTED READING EVERYONE ELSE'S PROBLEMS I WOULD FLARE UP AGAIN. TO SAY THIS YEAR HAS BEEN A ROUGH ONE MIGHT BE AN UNDRSTATEMENT. 2 FLARES WITHIN 7 MONTHS IS ALOT FOR ME. I HVE BEEN ON MY NEW MEDS FOR ABOUT 3 MONTHS NOW AND I DO FEEL ALOT BETTER. I EVEN WAS ABLE TO GO TO NJ WITHOUT ANY PROBLEMS.  OF COURSE I NEED TO SET AN ALARM TO REMEMBER TO TAKE MY MEDS BUT WHATEVER WORKS. I AM REALLY GOING TO TRY AND DO EVERYTHING I AM SUPOSED TO THIS TIME. I AM SO TIRED OF FEELING LIKE SHIT AND SCARING MY HUSBAND TO DEATH. HE IS SO WORRIED ABOUT ME. IT SCRES THE CRAP OUT OF HIM EVERY TTIME I FLARE UP. I THINK HE THINKS I AM GOING TO DIE. SOMETIMES IT FEELS THAT WAY. I REALLY DON'T WANT TO BE SICK ANYMORE. COME THE 1ST OF THE YEAR I WILL HVE A NEW POSITION AT WORK THAT HOPEFULLY WILL CUT DOWN ON THE STRESS. MY HOURS WILL BE BETTER AND THE WORKLOAD WILL BE DIFFERENT. STILL ALOT BUT WITHOUT THE B.SHERE'S HOPING FOR A BETTER YEAR!