Been bingeing all week.  Monday was going to be a turning point but sat in my office in the afternoon the usual thoughts of Haribo Sourmix came into my head.  Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday no better.  I didn't even go to my exercise class because I wanted to stay home and eat.  It just makes me feel revolting and I can't get up in the morning as I'm exhausted as my body has been digesting all night.  None of this will bring back my ex boyfriend who I am pining for all the time and if I carry on gaining weight it will not help me find someone else.  I probably don't look like I have a problem as I'm tall and if I put on a few pounds can carry it and usually I stop long enough to get back in shape again.  Went out for a meal with friends last night and when out started came I couldnt stop picking it was so good, Mexican dips with tortillas, spicy sweet potato wedges and onion rings.  By the time the main course can I couldn't eat anymore it was a huge plateful and very overfacing.  I don't like appearing to be a big eater infront of others.  Planned to stay in tonight and have a twelve inch pizza and nine inch garlic bread all to myself followed by a tub of Ben and Jerry's Cookie Dough.  It's not good, it's Saturday night and I know I have to stop but when I wake up tomorrow morning I know I will feel so down that it will be a struggle not to do it all over again.