Hello.. Im going to post my fathers response to last nights email to him about Carole....He tells me not to Keep Kicking myself, but it's really hard.....Carole was being treated for a Fistula,had her belly open, and treated for infections,and twice had a low BP. they scaned late at TGH and found the blood, but didn't do anything about it, but schedule for another scan in a month, they said the body might absorb the blood, but I think she was still bleeding.Also she seemed to be getting bed ridden,so my father and I believe she had paralisys. I had thought it was from the Distrophy and was getting upset,but was ready to take care of her if she came home,I always thought she would.Here is his reply....===========Hi Mike, I have no doubt that the bleeding in Carole’s brain caused her paralysis and is more than likely what killed her, as well. Do you remember when the Doctors told us at Tampa General that the scan showed that Carole had bleeding on both sides in the rear of her brain and a clot in the top of her brain? I would bet that it was already too late for them to do anything to help her in the way of medication or treatment. The stroke had already paralyzed her and the damage was done. You may recall that we thought that they were at fault for this due to their increased dosage of blood thinners trying to dissolve the blood clots that they knew were in other parts of her body. There is no need for you to be upset, however, because there was nothing they could have done for her at the time we were told about the blood in her brain. Also, the damage was done at Tampa General and there was nothing that they could have done at Kindred. Quit kicking yourself and let it go. From the time that Carole had the stroke, she did not know what caused the paralysis.Dad ======He believes no treatment could of been done At TGH,, Im thinking Something could of been done, but they Shipped her off to Kindrid, a Nursing Home Environment that poses as a Hospital.
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Mike,I am sorry for saying this,but in some ways,your father has a point.When someone we love is inflicted with such an illness sometimes it is out of the medical teams\' hands and in God\'s hands.Sometimes there is nothing they can do.You both knew that this disease would lead to fatality just as I knew I would lose my first husband to cancer.I just didn\'t know when.He was given six months at one point and made it four of those months.At that point in time,the doctors told us there was nothing more they could do,except keep him comfortable and we were forced to accept that.I brought him home so he could die where he knew he was loved,surrounded by family and friends.It is time for you to let go of the hate and just accept that it was her time.The odds were against her and she is no longer in pain,even though you are.You just have to accept it and let her live through your memories.I know it\'s not fair that we\'re left with so little but it\'s all we get.Please,let go of the anger and live on for her.This is what she would want of you.
Many times we think the Lord is not fair taking someone from us whom we love. We tend to be angry we think at the Person that died or the ppl that took care of them. We have hurt and we have to blame someone for the reason that the person we loved died...
I did that 12 yrs ago when a man i was engaged to was killed car. I was finally happy and the Lord was not fair why couldn\'t he take a junkie off the street, or a drunk that would not kill someone else driving, or a murderer why someone who was good is what i very loudly said to the Lord...
But when it\'s our time to go their is nothing we can do about it. Docs can only do what they can do and yes at the time we feel doctors didn\'t do enough but even doctors cry when they lose a patient. I say this as my sister is married to a doc and when he loses a patient he has tried his best to save and they die he goes off and cries too..
So don\'t be so hard on yourself about your beloved woman in your life. She is in Heaven with the Lord and maybe as my son whom when he was 5yrs old she may be with the Lord taking teeth from under childrens pillows and handing them out to new born babies.
Her spirt may be with you were you are, watching you and feeling your pain and trying to let you know she still loves you in ways you can\'t see as all you can see is the loss and anger and hurt...
I will keep you in my prayers and thought thought out the day and the Lord does heal with TEARS SHED so cry they help heal you and for you to move on. I am sorry for your loss.