So here I sit, in a lonely world, just when I think things are going well, I get sick and depressed again. Last week I was feeling good, Friday I was fine. I went to a sex party that was fun. Then I partied with a bunch of young people in there 20’s. That also was a good time. But I won’t do that again. I’m too old for that. Saturday was a relaxing day did nothing. Sunday I went to church with my daughter Trisha and Son John. I really enjoyed it. I am trying to throw the old me away. (I know there is one thing that I will never get rid of my HIV, but I can get rid of some of the other evil I have). I can say that I am 4 days sober and 4 days with out a smoke. That is a start.After that I took them out for Lunch at the Olive Garden. You see my daughter will be 21 on Wednesday so that was her early meal from me. Then we all went shopping for a dress for me to wear at my daughter wedding on the 7th. I don’t wear dresses you should have seen me though. I did have to put on a Never mind you woman can figure it out so I could look better in the dress. Then my daughter had the nerve to say you need a different bra, get this my 15 year old son said mom there are bras over there for lifting. I said bring me one over witch he did, and it worked. Man getting old sucks. After you had kids….lol I then stated to get sick at about 3pm Sunday really dizzy and wanting to throw up. However I did finish shopping because I new I needed to get thing for the wedding for me and my daughter. Right after that I was down on the couch the rest of the night. I went to work on Monday still dizzy and sick to my stomach, my boss told me to go home well I did 4 hour later. I think she is going to write me up because I called in today, and a couple weeks ago. But I will fit it I am on FMLA and it is intermittently because of HIV. I am just so sick of being sick all the time when I think I’m getting better BOOB it hits again. Well, I did go to the doctors today, he gave me stuff for the dizziness and told me to keep taking the stuff for my nausea; he also upped my Effexor to 150mg. The one thing I am getting tired of is my boss saying to me is did you see the doctor. What does she think I am, made out of money, I’m not going to see my doctor every time I get sick. I do go next month to see my HIV doctor. I don’t even want to know my number. I’m just glad it is after my daughters wedding. Please pray for me that I am not sick and healthy to spend all day and night there. One think I forgot to do yesterday was to wish all my friends on here that are fathers a Happy Fathers day to you, sorry it is a day late. Love you all Mary
Replies
Thanks for remembering us dads Mary ;)
I don\'t know how you do it, feeling sick and still working. But they say it\'s good that you do. But I hope your able to take it easy and when feeling that sick that you can tell them you need to go home, and that you don\'t get introuble for doing so. I push my self when I\'m not feeling well and it only keeps me down longer.
When the boss says go home. don\'t argue! Silly Girl !\":^)
I won\'t tell you that I\'m disapointed in the fact that you went out and drank. But I\'m happy that your sober now and your trying:) Mary I only know you because of the enternet.... But That doesn\'t mean that I don\'t have feeling for you and I wish I could have gone to that sex party with you and the girls:) were there any of my kind there? Modals maybe\":^) I went to pride with a couple of my lez-bo girl-friends Sunday, they tried setting me up with a few hotties, but there were to many people and I get really nerves with that big of a croud, and felt better once we got out of there and crusied the city a little and ate dinner.
I hope the meds that the doc gave you, helps with the nausea and dizziness. My Doc started me on Bactrim, makes me feel sick also with the heat, so I been staying in doors and staying away from the sun. What sun we get here in Oregon, we\'ve only gone up in the 80\'s as of this week.
The last few weeks have been pretty cool cloudy.
My Father\'s Day wasn\'t all that good, But I know my adult sons now, thought of me. Thats why even thou your a buddy on the enternet, I sure wish the best for you and all my friends here on D/S :)
Hang in there girl and things will be better and you\'ll feel better that your sober and I\'ll know will both make it to the 100 B/D club:) ya right.... I just turned 47 on the 4th and my youngest turned 17 and my twins are 25 now.
And the only way I can say this to you now is because I haven\'t drank in 4yrs at all.... not that I\'m patting my self on the back. It\'s just that when they told me I\'ed feel better if I stoped, they were right!
FFE and even thou I\'m not on line that often, I still think of you and wish the best you, my friend:)
July 7th is a good day for weddings. I was a wedding planer, back in my hey daze:)
Sorry that I\'m here and you guys are there. But Love still
sKip
Skip thanks for the comment, you know your words always mean alot to me. Here I got up early to see how long I can sit up without being dizzy, and sick to my stomach. I always fell better when laying down. Thanks for not telling me your disapointed in me for drinking. I want to stop and now today is day 5. I can only day by day. It is not like I drink all the time it\'s just when I start I don\'t want to stop. I do have it in my mind I want know more. I do want to start getting healthy that way.I know that I only had HIV now for 9 months, I thought I was fine I guess I\'m really not. I\'m sorry you did not have that good of a fathers day. If I was there with you we sure would have done something fun. The party was for girls only. I did buy me a coulple of toys. I still need something. If I can\'t have the real thing! I was going to have a sex party the end of July but i think I\'m going to cancel it. I know as I\'m writing this sitting up this long is making me dizzy. I do want to go into work but I don\'t think I can. I know that cannot fire me. because of my FMLA,I just don\'t want to be sick anymore. Today I will be starting 150mg of my Effexor. Well, I better go lay down fo a bit. I love you foreever & FEE my enternet friend.
Mary