Ok, What a shit a** day.
My depression has kicked in full force; I was crying most of the morning and just wanted to cry all day. I know that right now Im not myself I cant handle anything anymore.
I finally figured out why Im having headaches and my teeth and jaw hurts, I have been clutching my teeth. This depression needs to go.
My doctors and nurse both asked if I would hurt myself because of the way that I feeling, I told them no, I would never hurt myself. I do love life its just that Im tired of being sick and the pain and the depression is worse then it has ever been. So no one worry Im not going there.
For the packing part I still need to finish I hope I can before Friday, that is when Im going to start moving, and Saturday is the big day.
My ex fianc is going to pack up my computer, take it to is house and clean it up and make a new ghost image of it. He built my computer and takes good care of it. Then he will hook it back up for me at my new place, and said he would hang up some of my pic for me. You see I cant hang nothing straight, he can and does a good job at it. It will be nice to see him, I do miss him.
So, I went to my Infectious disease doctor today, I told him I have been sick a lot and my throat has been killing me for about a month, he took a culture and will get back to me in a few days.
For my blood work I will share my numbers from when I was first diagnosed.
October 06, my CD4 was at 340 and viral load was great then a half a million.
November 06, CD4 was 1164 and viral load was 6519 H, there is another number that I have no idea what it is that was 3.8 H
January 07, CD4 was 1046 and viral load 11931H other number 4.0 H
Now today April 07, CD4 was 746 viral load 3166 H other number 3.5 H.
My doctor, said I still dont need meds, witch Im grateful for, And my CD4 count is still good, what made me more depressed was that it went down a lot in 3 months and I can only think what is it going to be 3 months from now. The good new my viral loads are going down.
Well, this might be that last journal for a week until I get it hooked back up at the new place, my ex is going to pick it up Thursday night.
For all my friends on D/S and mostly my first dear friend on here Skip, I want to that you for all your support, if it wasnt for all of you I dont know what I would do. I love you all.
Mary
My depression has kicked in full force; I was crying most of the morning and just wanted to cry all day. I know that right now Im not myself I cant handle anything anymore.
I finally figured out why Im having headaches and my teeth and jaw hurts, I have been clutching my teeth. This depression needs to go.
My doctors and nurse both asked if I would hurt myself because of the way that I feeling, I told them no, I would never hurt myself. I do love life its just that Im tired of being sick and the pain and the depression is worse then it has ever been. So no one worry Im not going there.
For the packing part I still need to finish I hope I can before Friday, that is when Im going to start moving, and Saturday is the big day.
My ex fianc is going to pack up my computer, take it to is house and clean it up and make a new ghost image of it. He built my computer and takes good care of it. Then he will hook it back up for me at my new place, and said he would hang up some of my pic for me. You see I cant hang nothing straight, he can and does a good job at it. It will be nice to see him, I do miss him.
So, I went to my Infectious disease doctor today, I told him I have been sick a lot and my throat has been killing me for about a month, he took a culture and will get back to me in a few days.
For my blood work I will share my numbers from when I was first diagnosed.
October 06, my CD4 was at 340 and viral load was great then a half a million.
November 06, CD4 was 1164 and viral load was 6519 H, there is another number that I have no idea what it is that was 3.8 H
January 07, CD4 was 1046 and viral load 11931H other number 4.0 H
Now today April 07, CD4 was 746 viral load 3166 H other number 3.5 H.
My doctor, said I still dont need meds, witch Im grateful for, And my CD4 count is still good, what made me more depressed was that it went down a lot in 3 months and I can only think what is it going to be 3 months from now. The good new my viral loads are going down.
Well, this might be that last journal for a week until I get it hooked back up at the new place, my ex is going to pick it up Thursday night.
For all my friends on D/S and mostly my first dear friend on here Skip, I want to that you for all your support, if it wasnt for all of you I dont know what I would do. I love you all.
Mary
Replies
missmary, I\'ll miss you. Stress can wreck havoc on the immune system and moving is at the top of the list, even if you\'re moving back to somewhere it doesn\'t matter. So try to de-stress instead of distress any which way you can during this time period. In the meantime you have my thoughts and prayers for a smooth move. Glad you have someone there to help settle you in a bit, I am praying for your son too. Talk to you as soon as you settle in. Big hugs from me