My, its been awhile since I wrote in my journal!
Well, lets see, I have been sick now for about 2 weeks with a sore throat, joint aches I just feel like shit all over, Now the last 2 days I have been having fevers off and on, and I can feel my body sweating in side out, if that makes any since. And I been having diarrhea for 3 or 4 days now.
It is hard for me to get out of bed and go to work, but I do it. I feel fatigue all the time. I just cant take this anymore I can not stand the pain the sickness and everything.
I need to move in two weeks and packing is not getting done it is hard to do, when I get home from work I want to lay down and do nothing. I know though that I will have it done because I need to.
The one thing I dont want to happen is get really sick there are just so many things going on in my life. Like my daughter wedding, her wedding shower, moving and our trip to Vegas. I would just kill myself if I miss her wedding. That is my baby girl and she mean so much to me, oh how I hate the man that did this to me right now, I just want to call and bitch him out, and I know what good will that do. I guess I have been so depressed the last 2 weeks that I feel like I cant go on.
I do go next Tuesday to have my blood drawn, and then the Tuesday after to get my numbers.
I guess this is enough feeling sorry for my self, now maybe I get start feeling better (right)
I hope everyone is doing great.
Take care, Mary
Well, lets see, I have been sick now for about 2 weeks with a sore throat, joint aches I just feel like shit all over, Now the last 2 days I have been having fevers off and on, and I can feel my body sweating in side out, if that makes any since. And I been having diarrhea for 3 or 4 days now.
It is hard for me to get out of bed and go to work, but I do it. I feel fatigue all the time. I just cant take this anymore I can not stand the pain the sickness and everything.
I need to move in two weeks and packing is not getting done it is hard to do, when I get home from work I want to lay down and do nothing. I know though that I will have it done because I need to.
The one thing I dont want to happen is get really sick there are just so many things going on in my life. Like my daughter wedding, her wedding shower, moving and our trip to Vegas. I would just kill myself if I miss her wedding. That is my baby girl and she mean so much to me, oh how I hate the man that did this to me right now, I just want to call and bitch him out, and I know what good will that do. I guess I have been so depressed the last 2 weeks that I feel like I cant go on.
I do go next Tuesday to have my blood drawn, and then the Tuesday after to get my numbers.
I guess this is enough feeling sorry for my self, now maybe I get start feeling better (right)
I hope everyone is doing great.
Take care, Mary
Replies
Please take one thing at a time missmary it\'s all so overwhelming and creating lots of stress. Every time I had to move I felt like a truck hit me. Now is the time to up your supplements if you like, I find that helps me sometimes. Will eating some rice help? Oh my, I feel so bad for you, sending you hope and prayers that you will have the help you need from your friends to get all of that done. I\'ve been depressed too and finally managed to get up and take a shower and do some other stuff. I hope you can get some disability when you move so you can chill out and take care of you.
Thanks for the comment, I hope the people that said they will help, will help or I\'m f***ed. I can\'t get help with any disability because I make to much. I will be moving to a low income housing, I lived there for 15 years before, that way if i get really sick again and have know income I don\'t have to worry about rent, and be homeless.
You\'re a smart lady thinking ahead like that missmary, I just wish we didn\'t have to think of our lives in those terms, but eventually, not working is a real possibility. I don\'t work, can\'t work, and I am better off for it now. My numbers went up. Tending to this hiv is a full time job in itself. I pray that people come to your aid. Maybe you can apply after your move. Tonight I get to go out to eat with some friends, getting out and trying to laugh a little is a chore in itself knowing how I feel inside. I hope you have the strength to pack a few boxes today.
Cheer up Mary...we are all here for you, and think positive, be positive and live positive, you\'ll be just fine....You have it inside of you, infact we all do, its just finding the means for us to realize it that is the hardest...But once you do, then you know that you will be fine, no matter what....I know you can do it....
Muah
HUGZ
Thank you Pozfem and Sherbertwhat, your words mean alot to me, I have know idea what is happening to me, I just feel like my life is falling apart. i think my depression meds are not working, so when i see the doctor in 2 weeks I will have to see if he can change it.