Valentine Day
Stated ok went bad then ended up ok.
Of course I had to start by going to work and did not want to because I had not sleep that night. This is where it all started.
I got to work at 8am; I was tiered but had my 20oz coffee that helped until about 2pm. At this point my day was going well. Tired but not depressed at this time.
I had a call from this person I call my daughter because I new her when she was 2 years old, she is now 26yr. old, and she is also my to oldest kids half sister. She calls to wish me Happy Valentine Day. I think she will be going to Vegas when her sister my daughter gets married in July. I also told her I had HIV. I think she was in shock but was ok with it. She told me she needs to call more and that she loves me.
About her that is a story I will have to write about, at another time.
From 2-5pm, I started getting really tired and could feel some depression coming on. Around 5:30pm one of my employees came to me with a problem from the 3rd floor he works on. My boss was their when he came to me. She says to me (take care of it), I think it was in the tone of her voice when she said it that pissed me off.
I then went up to the 3rd. floor to deal with the problem and had the nursing supervisor there with me, she was no help. Well I did not handle the situation well, (I do have a loud voice) so the nursing assistant I was confronting told me that I was yelling when I was not, and that I was judging her, I was not doing this either. (I will not bore you with the store) I will tell you this, I work in a nursing home and I am a Dietary Manager. I do respect the resident there and will not allow someone to act the way they do in the dining room in front of the other resident, and put a resident at harm.
Before I was a Dietary Manager, I was a Nursing Asst. myself at the place I work at now, I do love the place I work at and I do miss being a nursing asst. all the time. Why am not a NAR anymore? Because I have bad knees form being a NAR.
So, I went back to my office and started crying and telling my boss, I hate my job and I dont think this is for me. I was so mad at what this nursing asst. said to me that I got really depressed plus being tired didnt help. I thought for a while waited until my eyes were not so red from crying, I went back upstairs and told this nursing asst. I was sorry for my behavior, she told me that it was ok; I said no it was not. The lady from Human Recourses was up on third, so I had her there with me when I apologized.
I was walking with her back to the office and she asked me if I need to talk, so I cried a little more and she listened to me, If it wasnt for talking with her I dont know how I would have felt. She helped me to feel better, she also gave me a hug and told me Happy Valentine day and if I need to vent or cry and talk I could go to her. I thank her a lot.
When I left her office I went back to my office finished a little bit of work, then left at 6pm and had the cook close for me.
My next journey when I left work, I stopped at the bar that I always go to on Friday. Not this Friday now. So I got to the bar and the bar tender new something was wrong because I looked sad. I was the only person in that bar all by myself, everyone else had a Valentine with them. I think that also did not make thing better to be alone on Valentine day.
As the night went on, I had fun talked with people and even danced 3 times to slow songs. I have not danced like for years. That was fun. I also seen this couple I think they were in their 70s and they sat next to me we started to talk and to fine out it was his Birthday, and I grew up 2 doors down from his mother. We talked for over an hour. I cant tell you how many people I have run across in this bar I have not seen in years. (Something about this bar) oh, I also ran into an old friend I have not seen in I think 13 years. I also lost money in pull tabs, I wont go there. I just need to stop playing them; I never play them just recently I started doing it. I let when the bar closed. Thank god I had today off. But felling not depressed.
One more thing, it was my dads 80th or 81st. Birthday. I always call him on this day but told myself not anymore. Because of the way he treats me and dont care about me. Some of you had read some of what I wrote in the past journal about my dad.
With all this said, that was my Valentine Day, I hope everyone else had a good one. Thank you all for being here for me.
P.S. I believe this is the longest I have written so fare.
Love Mary
Stated ok went bad then ended up ok.
Of course I had to start by going to work and did not want to because I had not sleep that night. This is where it all started.
I got to work at 8am; I was tiered but had my 20oz coffee that helped until about 2pm. At this point my day was going well. Tired but not depressed at this time.
I had a call from this person I call my daughter because I new her when she was 2 years old, she is now 26yr. old, and she is also my to oldest kids half sister. She calls to wish me Happy Valentine Day. I think she will be going to Vegas when her sister my daughter gets married in July. I also told her I had HIV. I think she was in shock but was ok with it. She told me she needs to call more and that she loves me.
About her that is a story I will have to write about, at another time.
From 2-5pm, I started getting really tired and could feel some depression coming on. Around 5:30pm one of my employees came to me with a problem from the 3rd floor he works on. My boss was their when he came to me. She says to me (take care of it), I think it was in the tone of her voice when she said it that pissed me off.
I then went up to the 3rd. floor to deal with the problem and had the nursing supervisor there with me, she was no help. Well I did not handle the situation well, (I do have a loud voice) so the nursing assistant I was confronting told me that I was yelling when I was not, and that I was judging her, I was not doing this either. (I will not bore you with the store) I will tell you this, I work in a nursing home and I am a Dietary Manager. I do respect the resident there and will not allow someone to act the way they do in the dining room in front of the other resident, and put a resident at harm.
Before I was a Dietary Manager, I was a Nursing Asst. myself at the place I work at now, I do love the place I work at and I do miss being a nursing asst. all the time. Why am not a NAR anymore? Because I have bad knees form being a NAR.
So, I went back to my office and started crying and telling my boss, I hate my job and I dont think this is for me. I was so mad at what this nursing asst. said to me that I got really depressed plus being tired didnt help. I thought for a while waited until my eyes were not so red from crying, I went back upstairs and told this nursing asst. I was sorry for my behavior, she told me that it was ok; I said no it was not. The lady from Human Recourses was up on third, so I had her there with me when I apologized.
I was walking with her back to the office and she asked me if I need to talk, so I cried a little more and she listened to me, If it wasnt for talking with her I dont know how I would have felt. She helped me to feel better, she also gave me a hug and told me Happy Valentine day and if I need to vent or cry and talk I could go to her. I thank her a lot.
When I left her office I went back to my office finished a little bit of work, then left at 6pm and had the cook close for me.
My next journey when I left work, I stopped at the bar that I always go to on Friday. Not this Friday now. So I got to the bar and the bar tender new something was wrong because I looked sad. I was the only person in that bar all by myself, everyone else had a Valentine with them. I think that also did not make thing better to be alone on Valentine day.
As the night went on, I had fun talked with people and even danced 3 times to slow songs. I have not danced like for years. That was fun. I also seen this couple I think they were in their 70s and they sat next to me we started to talk and to fine out it was his Birthday, and I grew up 2 doors down from his mother. We talked for over an hour. I cant tell you how many people I have run across in this bar I have not seen in years. (Something about this bar) oh, I also ran into an old friend I have not seen in I think 13 years. I also lost money in pull tabs, I wont go there. I just need to stop playing them; I never play them just recently I started doing it. I let when the bar closed. Thank god I had today off. But felling not depressed.
One more thing, it was my dads 80th or 81st. Birthday. I always call him on this day but told myself not anymore. Because of the way he treats me and dont care about me. Some of you had read some of what I wrote in the past journal about my dad.
With all this said, that was my Valentine Day, I hope everyone else had a good one. Thank you all for being here for me.
P.S. I believe this is the longest I have written so fare.
Love Mary
Replies
Hang in there, Mary. At least tomorrow\'s Friday so that\'s something to look forward to. Oops. I hope you don\'t work weekends there. lol!!!
Anyway, I understand what you\'re saying because work can be trying at times for me as well. One of the guys I work with says: I don\'t have to be friends with everybody I work with, and I\'m only here to put in my 8 hours and once I\'m out the door work is a distant memory for me. That\'s the attitude to have regarding a job. Let\'s face it: I think there is a very large percentage of the population who aren\'t really that thrilled with the work they have to do, but many of us don\'t have a choice. I\'ve been saying that I was going to update my resume and start looking again, but probably not for at least another year. First of all, I need to get healthy again and I also have a credit card balance that\'s been somewhat of a bitch. I\'m paying it down, but it seems like it\'s taking forever. Those damn interest rates. :-)
As for my job, I hate to sound like I hate it so much, but as I said before it\'s just admin. drone work that anybody could do as well as I can. So my attitude from now on concerning my job is going to be: put in my 8 hours and goodbye till next time. It is somewhat unfortunate because I work for a large transportation co. and even on my day off I see the signs for my company on the buses, light rail, etc......sometimes I cringe. lol!!!! Anyway, hope you\'re feeling a little better tonight. Talk soon.
Dan
Yes it is friday, yeppy skippy, Yes I do work weekends this is my weekend to work. My next day off is Tuesday.:( I\'m not sure though about just putting in my 8 hours and then saying goodbye. Don\'t get me wrong I do like my job. and I love being able to asst. the resident. I just have a big heart for them. The only part of my job is that there is alot of people there that just work for the money, and don\'t care about the resident, and they think they know everything, and they don\'t understand my department. I understand both nursing and dietary, beause I\'v worked in both of them. When the time is right for you, maybe you should look for something that you woud enjoy doing. Have a good night. Mary