Part 3
When I started going back to the bar / restaurant on Fridays, that is the day that I go to be with adults and yes to have a few, I dont drink like I use to anymore. There is this one lady that I would talk to; she was a little worried because she had not seen me for awhile. I did end up telling her, and she was ok with it. I did ask her not to tell anyone, I think she has not, no one is acting any different to me. I still do think that she did tell someone but I have no way of knowing. I do feel weird when I go in there, thinking that someone knows, but you know what, I say screw them; Im not going to let people run me away.
About 3 or 4 weeks ago, I also seen this guy that I new for about 10 years and had not seen him in about 8years. I was up at the bar and he came in right when I was going to leave he asked me if I would like a beer I said sure, then we had about 2 more and he was giving me a hug and taking a few puffs of my smokes, no I dont smoke all the time only on Fridays when I have a few. So any way we got to talking and he asked me what I have been up to, well I thought he would understand, so I told him. Well he wanted his own smoke the hugging stopped, I tell you, and I didnt know who this person was. I told him Im not contagious, your not going to get anything form me, you know what he said (are you sure). I seen him again about 2 weeks later he bought me a beer and never said any thing to me.
After that I told my self that I was not going to tell anyone anymore, so I did again.
Last Friday, I seen another old friend that I have not seen sense 1992, I was just finishing up my beer and was getting ready to leave, when she showed up.
What is it with people from my past showing up at a bar on a Friday when Im ready to leave? LOL.Weird!!!!!
So any way, I end up staying all night and she was the sober driver for her daughter so she gave me a ride home. I did tell her that I had HIV; she understood we played catch up, laughed a lot. I had a real good time that night, it was the best time I had in the last 4 months. But you know what I have not heard from her after that night, I did give her my phone number and my email.
This Friday, I decided to stay home and write my journals, I rather stay her and write, this way I keep my mouth shut. I know now that you dont tell anyone because after they leave you, you are shit to them and a disease.
I did tell my brother to tell my dad and ask him if I could loan Two Thousand, so I could pay some bills until I got back to work. Well, from my past journals you know my dad hates me, so what for you think he said. NO. I have not heard form him either.
So with all I said I told you about how I received HIV, how I was diagnosed & how people acted, so now my life just goes on. I have my kids, a friend that understands and still loves me & DS. I thank good that I found DS.
More Journals to ahead, I hope to all dont get tired of me writing.
Love Mary
When I started going back to the bar / restaurant on Fridays, that is the day that I go to be with adults and yes to have a few, I dont drink like I use to anymore. There is this one lady that I would talk to; she was a little worried because she had not seen me for awhile. I did end up telling her, and she was ok with it. I did ask her not to tell anyone, I think she has not, no one is acting any different to me. I still do think that she did tell someone but I have no way of knowing. I do feel weird when I go in there, thinking that someone knows, but you know what, I say screw them; Im not going to let people run me away.
About 3 or 4 weeks ago, I also seen this guy that I new for about 10 years and had not seen him in about 8years. I was up at the bar and he came in right when I was going to leave he asked me if I would like a beer I said sure, then we had about 2 more and he was giving me a hug and taking a few puffs of my smokes, no I dont smoke all the time only on Fridays when I have a few. So any way we got to talking and he asked me what I have been up to, well I thought he would understand, so I told him. Well he wanted his own smoke the hugging stopped, I tell you, and I didnt know who this person was. I told him Im not contagious, your not going to get anything form me, you know what he said (are you sure). I seen him again about 2 weeks later he bought me a beer and never said any thing to me.
After that I told my self that I was not going to tell anyone anymore, so I did again.
Last Friday, I seen another old friend that I have not seen sense 1992, I was just finishing up my beer and was getting ready to leave, when she showed up.
What is it with people from my past showing up at a bar on a Friday when Im ready to leave? LOL.Weird!!!!!
So any way, I end up staying all night and she was the sober driver for her daughter so she gave me a ride home. I did tell her that I had HIV; she understood we played catch up, laughed a lot. I had a real good time that night, it was the best time I had in the last 4 months. But you know what I have not heard from her after that night, I did give her my phone number and my email.
This Friday, I decided to stay home and write my journals, I rather stay her and write, this way I keep my mouth shut. I know now that you dont tell anyone because after they leave you, you are shit to them and a disease.
I did tell my brother to tell my dad and ask him if I could loan Two Thousand, so I could pay some bills until I got back to work. Well, from my past journals you know my dad hates me, so what for you think he said. NO. I have not heard form him either.
So with all I said I told you about how I received HIV, how I was diagnosed & how people acted, so now my life just goes on. I have my kids, a friend that understands and still loves me & DS. I thank good that I found DS.
More Journals to ahead, I hope to all dont get tired of me writing.
Love Mary
Replies
I felt the same way about telling people about my HepC.I felt so dirty and disgusting even though I know that it is not true.People always act different toward you when you tell them.It is not right but we don\'t need people like that in our lives.If youever want to talk then write me a message and then we can talk because I understand how you feel.I hope that you have a nice night.
i too felt the same way when i first found out,til this day there are people who dont know that im poz.i think that you have to really think about who you choose to tell.it hurts that you have this secret. you want so bad to let everyone know and UNDERSTAND.but,theres always a but.lol. people arent all understanding and instead of getting your feelings hurt or being ostrizied you have to be careful.even though i can really find out who my real friends are.i cant say that,some people are still ignorant.
i know how hard it can be.SIS didnt tell anyone besides family for along time.and funny thing is once they got past the shock everyone so far is ok with it. it has been 14yrs. now.she has gotten herself back on her meds. lol im still here.
Thank you all for your comments, I just wish that there were more caring, loveing & understanding people in this world.