27 August 2012
Yesterday went well. The wife went out for a few hours to buy clothes for the job she will be starting next Monday. My son was well behaved as he knows I can’t get too worked up.
I had no alcohol cravings although I was a bit shaky in the afternoon probably due to anxiety about work. I realised that I do have transferable skills and even if I lose my job I should be able to get a new one – one that may pay a lot less but could be more rewarding personally and more of a benefit to the community and society. It helps that my wife will soon be bringing in some cash.
I got my weights out and did a light workout. My son even joined me. I’m still stronger than he is but I should be as he is only eight.
I asked my older sisters about any history of depression/mood disorders in the family. It looks like there may be some which would tie in with my dysmythia theory. They said if I thought I was feeling depressed I should seek help. I thought I had told them about my inpatient treatment last year but perhaps not.
We had a good session in the afternoon at the Alcohol Awareness group. I described how although I am much better than I was during my clinical depression episode and I thought I was fine, it is quite clear that I am not fine and haven’t been for a long time. It’s just that I have been so far removed from my original normal state for so long that I am not clear on exactly how I would feel without these mental health/alcohol issues.
The things that went well yesterday were: I didn’t drink; I had a great time playing with my son in some game he invented that was a combination of Frisbee, baseball and cricket; I am getting a better handle on my options and on my psychological state.
I had no alcohol cravings although I was a bit shaky in the afternoon probably due to anxiety about work. I realised that I do have transferable skills and even if I lose my job I should be able to get a new one – one that may pay a lot less but could be more rewarding personally and more of a benefit to the community and society. It helps that my wife will soon be bringing in some cash.
I got my weights out and did a light workout. My son even joined me. I’m still stronger than he is but I should be as he is only eight.
I asked my older sisters about any history of depression/mood disorders in the family. It looks like there may be some which would tie in with my dysmythia theory. They said if I thought I was feeling depressed I should seek help. I thought I had told them about my inpatient treatment last year but perhaps not.
We had a good session in the afternoon at the Alcohol Awareness group. I described how although I am much better than I was during my clinical depression episode and I thought I was fine, it is quite clear that I am not fine and haven’t been for a long time. It’s just that I have been so far removed from my original normal state for so long that I am not clear on exactly how I would feel without these mental health/alcohol issues.
The things that went well yesterday were: I didn’t drink; I had a great time playing with my son in some game he invented that was a combination of Frisbee, baseball and cricket; I am getting a better handle on my options and on my psychological state.
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