I've been on this site longer than I care to admit ~ LOL. The entry below was written in January of 2007 ~ before we knew about what our son's drug problem. Little did I know what was in store ~ but I'm relieved to read about how I handled it, based on what I didn't know. If I had known, I could have taken a mental note to be aware of any other current or future signs to look for ~ like searching his room. His association along with the kids I wrote below would have been enough to act. That's why I do what I do!!!!
What a relief. I was on the phone last night trying to get a ride to my soccer game when the phone beeped. My husband was/is in Chicago. Anyway, someone was trying to call. I didn't take the call because the person I was talking to is typically long winded and I didn't want to interrupt him. We don't have caller ID, so out of curiosity, I dialed #69. I had no idea what number I was calling. It was the police. When the officer answered, I said I was sorry I had the wrong number. He said no and asked if I was my youngest son's mom. He told me my son was not in trouble but the kids he was with were. A relief my son wasn't one of them. I couldn't handle it, if it he was in trouble. Actually, my son is in trouble with me because he was to call me before he left his friend's house (down the street from us)and he didn't. The officer told me that my son was very respectful and wasn't in trouble but he wanted to call me to let me know what happened. He told me it was good that my son was upset that I was going to get the call.
My son and I had a conversation the night before about trust and making right decisions. This event was timely. It was the association with these boys that bothered me. My son doesn't "chill" with these boys, normally, but they offered to take them (my son & his friend) to Taco Bell. I don't like him hanging around looking for rides because this is what happens. Anyway, car was pulled over because a back light was out. Police found pot on the two boys. My son was upset with this encounter and I think he learned (at least I hope he did) a good lesson as to what can happen. These boys were arrested. After that encounter my son hooked up with some friends he met through a Christian group. I am actually glad this happened. Hopefully, he knows to stay away from these boys and the like. I feel sorry for the one boy (did't know the other)because I know he's a good kid. He used to be on my son's soccer team. I see him at school when I pick up my son at the end of the day, and the poor guy seems lost. Even though the school my boys attend is public, it has high ratings in academic dept.. It's a tough school to try and fit into. Lots of competition. I can see why this boy is lost. I know it happens everywhere. So, I am relieved. It also has opened up more opportunities to talk about the consequences of bad behavior. Why do these events always seem to happen when my husband's out of town?
What a relief. I was on the phone last night trying to get a ride to my soccer game when the phone beeped. My husband was/is in Chicago. Anyway, someone was trying to call. I didn't take the call because the person I was talking to is typically long winded and I didn't want to interrupt him. We don't have caller ID, so out of curiosity, I dialed #69. I had no idea what number I was calling. It was the police. When the officer answered, I said I was sorry I had the wrong number. He said no and asked if I was my youngest son's mom. He told me my son was not in trouble but the kids he was with were. A relief my son wasn't one of them. I couldn't handle it, if it he was in trouble. Actually, my son is in trouble with me because he was to call me before he left his friend's house (down the street from us)and he didn't. The officer told me that my son was very respectful and wasn't in trouble but he wanted to call me to let me know what happened. He told me it was good that my son was upset that I was going to get the call.
My son and I had a conversation the night before about trust and making right decisions. This event was timely. It was the association with these boys that bothered me. My son doesn't "chill" with these boys, normally, but they offered to take them (my son & his friend) to Taco Bell. I don't like him hanging around looking for rides because this is what happens. Anyway, car was pulled over because a back light was out. Police found pot on the two boys. My son was upset with this encounter and I think he learned (at least I hope he did) a good lesson as to what can happen. These boys were arrested. After that encounter my son hooked up with some friends he met through a Christian group. I am actually glad this happened. Hopefully, he knows to stay away from these boys and the like. I feel sorry for the one boy (did't know the other)because I know he's a good kid. He used to be on my son's soccer team. I see him at school when I pick up my son at the end of the day, and the poor guy seems lost. Even though the school my boys attend is public, it has high ratings in academic dept.. It's a tough school to try and fit into. Lots of competition. I can see why this boy is lost. I know it happens everywhere. So, I am relieved. It also has opened up more opportunities to talk about the consequences of bad behavior. Why do these events always seem to happen when my husband's out of town?
Replies
It is such a good thing to alert parents to combinations of behavior/friends. I was exactly the same way about my son--clueless and not knowing enough to put one and one together. All the \'ones\' were there, but I couldn\'t add them until I was smacked in the face with them, and the total came up drug user.
And I was a drug counselor. I think being naive about how circumstances can look is an important factor in how kids get away with using as much as they do. I feel now that I was very naive; not in denial, but just naive.Dealing with the teens in my treatment groups, I got them after they were already discovered and in trouble. So I didn\'t understand even then the subtleties of how they could cover their use. And sad to say, I even judged their parents some for being not very watchful. I had no idea that when a kid is hooked he will go to any lengths. My son was clearly an addict from about 15 on (I know in retrospect) and so really did go to lengths to hide his behavior.
I guess I\"m saying how important it is to spread the word like you do, and get parents to really take notice. In the case of teenagers, now i know that when there\'s smoke, there\'s fire. At least in my experience. I wish there was someone to tell me how to wake up.
I don\'t know if it would have made a difference in our lives in the long run, as his addiction was not going to let go of him till he was ready. THat\'s usually the case. But it could maybe have prevented some heartache here and there, and I might have been less \'helpful\', especially after he turned 18......who knows.
I\'m glad you did a retrospective.