feeling better

Okay - I will admit - I was experiencing a few weak moments and now that some time has passed, I feel much stronger.  I KNOW I "relapsed" and fell back into my old way of thinking - partly because I didn't get an reinforcement from my husband.  My husband hates conflict and (at least when it comes to my son) and rather than face it - he ignores it.  My husband and I went to church and the grocery store yesterday only to find when we got home, T wasn't there.  There wasn't a note.  I had had my cell phone off, only to discover he did leave a message, after all.  He said he went to play basketball at the Y and would be home "later".  We arrived home at 1:30 and going onto 4 -no word.  So I tracked him down.  **I've recorded his friends' cell phone #'s so I called his friend's phone.  T still doesn't have a cell.  Anyway, I asked him about his tutoring.  My friend was supposed to tutor him yesterday.  He said later.  I told him that my friend has a family and can't be at his beck and call, whenever he wants him.  I called my friend, who is also in recovery, and he said that he "might" be available.  He said he wants to get after him.  Said T was acting like an "F - ing" 12 year old.  I couldn't have said it better.  Well -- can't say we didn't try and help him.  A silver platter was handed to him and he just threw it away.  Today he was supposed to take one of his chemistry tests.  Oh well.....I'll leave it in God's hands.  Like always ....I have no control.. UPDATE:  T never made it home from school and it's 7:30.  Am I worried?  I am anxious and upset but worried?  Not yet.  And he missed his counseling appointment that he really wanted to go to before.  I met with the counselor instead.  Although he didn't tell me anything that I already know - or really have any profound answers as to what to do about T-Man, I am still glad I talked to him.  I did mention to him that I saw on-line that there is a girl in his life who is a user - to what level - I don't know.  She drives and was going to pick him up (after he came home from curfew and he was planning on sneaking out) but she couldn't get the keys away from her friend.  Her friend said she was too drunk to drive.  She claimed her friend was drunker and they both got into a fist fight.  So this is could be the reason for the change in him.  Girls can be either and good or bad influence on boys (like boys w/girls) - so this might be where this new/old behavior is coming from.  She is the change in his life that has changed him .  The last two girlfriends were basically a good influence on him.  NOT this one.  He has not told us about her.  She lives about an half an hour away.  If there's a will there's a way, they seemed to get together. Oh--- before I left T's counselor today I took the opportunity to show him my packet and he loved it!!  I went to take it away from him when he was through looking at it and he was disappointed that I had to take it back.  He thought it was his copy.  I told him I would have given it to him but the high school assistant principal just e-mailed me minutes before I left fot the appointment.  I told him I would get him one.  I also told him my idea of running parenting classes for the parents who are "floating" out there looking for some help/information/support.  He liked that idea and offered to help me get help.  He says he has some connections.  I have a vision how I would like it - so I guess I'll have to map it out before I talk to anyone.  This stuff helps me keep my head above water.......