Joy

What an amazing Christmas we had.   The 4 hour car ride with my husband and the boys were so special and calm. Not that it was ever unpleasant in the past, but the "boys" really interacted with each other and shared a lot of laughs.  It was so wonderful.  The visit with both families was the best, yet.  No issues, everybody was healthy, calm, and it was just great.  My mother-in-law usually gets very stressed and bossy during this time, but not this year.  Lord knows she's had her struggles (mother committed suicide when she was a teen, later becoming an alcoholic).  I felt for her when our son was struggling, especially last Christmas, because she knew more than any of us what he was going through.  This Christmas, with T doing well, and my middle guy (who was very interactive and outgoing this visit) was the most relaxing one we've had.  Mother-in-law is very transparent and, although she's improved by keeping some thoughts to herself, she kept commenting on our middle guy.  He's never been her favorite - especially as a child but when she softened when she learned the reason for his off-standish behaviors.  She was amazed how jovial he was this visit, telling him that he realy came out of his shell.  He was outgoing and seemed to have a good time.  I told her (combined with maturity) he actually felt good for a change.  You can't be social when you don't feel well.  He used to get terrible headaches, and terrible canker sore break-outs - usually around the holidays.  He still does get them but not nearly as much as he once did.  I still believe that that may have contributed to his depression. Oldest son seems fine.  This happy-go-lucky, spiritual, hard working straight A student, just had a "BLIP" or bump or whatever in the road.... this last semester and that is okay.  Whatever it was it isn't that important in the grand scheme of things.  He said the string of car accidents he had (totaling the car on this last one) and the fact that he's not sure what he wants to do once he graduates, has contributed to his poor school performance the last semester, pure stress.  He is going to talk to his counselor to see if anything can be done.  He also said his sleep patterns were all off and he couldn't adjust them.  He was "off" when he got home but with the visit he managed to get back on track.  Middle son's was off, too, but now he's adjusted.  Middle guy is so excited about starting school soon...which could explain his mood.  He can't wait to start.  Says he's excited about his classes.   My friend, the physican, is going to tutor T in chemistry.  T blew it off last week with the guidance counselor who said he'd help him so I hope his teacher will except the work over the break he did that he was supposed to accomplish last week.  If not,  I do not blame her. Me?  I know that I have been so focused on T for so long that I haven't been able to focus enough on myself.  I am finally feeling that I can start looking for a teaching position at the preschool level.  I really enjoy that age a lot.  Although, over the years, the parents sent their children to learn from me, I felt I learned more from their children - acceptance - joy - laughter.....etc.  The children helped me forget my troubles when I was with them.......they're so sweet.