stuck

Okay -  T-Man is going to school - in and out (not feeling well this past week) but he's going - and that's a good thing.  He hasn't caught up, however, - due to absences but he said he's working on it.  At home he hasn't flown off of the handle or lost control.  So those are good things.   What he isn't doing is coming home from school and we are not seeing him until 9:30 at night. Since his phone isn't working (it fell in the toilet) he feels justified that he doesn't need to contact us to let us know where he is.  We told him that he will get his phone back by earning it - following rules.  Two weeks ago I had his PO, caseworker, and his inept counselor meet with T and me to remind him to contact me.  He worked it and made it look like I was going overboard by checking our cell phone bill - spying on him.  He did such a good job - that I looked like the crazy mom.  I even believed it!  Yesterday the reason he gave for not coming home or calling is because I cause "anxiety" to him and he needed to stay away.  NO more buddy.  That is pure manipulation.   The real reason is because I wouldn't buy him cigarettes.  I told him the day before - and I was very clear about it - that I will NOT buy him cigarettes everyday.  He knows that - but I have given in before by his manipulation.  This time I drew the line and he couldn't "break" me.  For goodness sake - I bought him the cigarettes the day before in the late afternoon - which means he smoked a whole pack in one evening!  As much as he worked me - I never lost my cool.  Talk about causing anxiety!  He's high maintenance!