One Day At A Time.....

Things do change.........from one day to the next.  Today J got up at 7AM and reffed soccer all day until 7PM.  Perhaps he's not doing the drugs I thought.  Maybe (not that I am minimizing his usage) he's not at the level T's problem was at.  I need to stop this guessing.  It's not that I am going to ignore that there is something but - I must remind myself that I cannot control the situation.   Although I am much better off than I was before I still can get a little obsessive in my thinking.  It is not healthy to do.  I took T's phone (hubby not happy about that) because he didn't come home for dinner even though he said he was going to.  He then turned off his phone so we couldn't get contact him.  Even after he did that.....husband let him stay out even later than curfew!  What the ?  I lit into him.  He claims that consequences (which he calls punishment) are ineffective.  I told him that yes....that is true when you are inconsistent and don't follow through on them.  Even though he gave me a difficult time, he told me to go ahead and do whatever I want.  He said don't come complaining to me that we can't get a hold of him.   I asked my husband what he did or was planning to do to handle this situation and he said..... he talked to him about it.  And how effective is that?  So far.....that is all we've been doing and THAT doesn't work.  Sometimes my husband is so smart and other times.....I wonder what drugs he's on!   Sat outside our local coffee shop today for a few hours and collected $160.00 for the suicide prevent and education program our son's school receives.   What a response we received from the coffee drinkers.  "We" - was actually the one token hs student (who stayed the first half, me, and my oldest son.   I know it was the first week of school and these kids (NHS students) are extremely busy with all of their extra curricular and holiday activities But you'd think I would have been able to get a few more!  Oh well......at least I had the one.  I had another volunteer but he never showed!   As I sat with my oldest (he is such a sweetheart) a man sat down by me close to our table.  He asked me why we were there.  I explained to him what our mission is (even though clearly he had to have overheard us telling other people about it) and then he proceeded to tell me his story.  He was an older gentleman (older than me anyway) who just came back from Iraq.  He said he just witnessed and helped 5 to 6 young soldiers recover from suicide attempts.  He said some others lost their lives, not from battle, but by suicide.  I asked him why he went to Iraq and he said he was a doctor who wanted to  volunteer (he was there for  4 months) to help "our neighbor's sons".  People thought he was crazy - telling him he was going through some kind of mid-life crisis.  He was even ridiculed for it.  People wanted to know - why?  He wondered that, too, sometimes.    He found his answer, and the reason why he made the decision to go to Iraq.  It was a remarkable story.....wow.  His story brought tears to my eyes - it's something you'd read in a book.  He said he is going to write one.....