One Day At A Time

I am learning.  I think I really am.  Yesterday was a bit hairly because T decided he didn't want to go to treatment for the entire 3 hours.  He still wasn't "feeling well" and told me on the way there (after sleeping in until 1PM) that he could only stay for an hour.  No way.  He started in and rather than engage him I let it go.  I know my silence made him believe I was coming early for him, but I did tell him that I would check with the counselor to see what they would say.  Well, of course, they said to keep him there the entire time.  Needless to say, he was rabid.  He kept calling my cell and home phone over and over again.  I answered the first one and then let it ring. **I learned today that the counselors were trying to retrieve the phone from him.  He then gave up on me and called my husband who would have picked him up early, if he could.  I called my husband, before T did, and told him not to come and get him early and he listened.  Well, when they got home my son ranted and raved and caused a scene here at home - mad at us for not coming to get him, and angry that I wouldn't let him go out because the rule is .....no school - no going out, even if he goes to schoool for part of the day.  Husband felt sorry for him (like I didn't) and told my son he can get on his bike for an hour and that he would talk to me.   Well, I could have had a fit but decided it's not worth it.  I know where my husband was coming from - we got our son to open up and tell us that he's struggling.  But the alternative could have been that we all go out.  Son said he wanted to be alone.  He also told us that the counselors told him that if he's stressed .....to remove himself from the situation.  When I talked to the counselor today I told her my son's drug test results (including blood sample) all came back negative, which is great.  I then told her what happened when my son came home yesterday after treatment, telling her that "we" decided to let him go for an hour bike ride.  I didn't whine about my husband overriding me but did tell her that we let him out.  She said that we are to stick to our contract, and giving in to his whining isn't helpful.  I HAD to tell her that it was my husband who let him go.  I also told her what my son said about how he should handle himself if he's feeling stressed (like going for a bike ride).  The counselor said - yes - a time out but not for a bike ride. She said that the topic of "sticking to your guns" can be brought up at family group.  Unfortunately, I feel that the family group counselor who rums the session is a bit weak and not very good.  I think we can do this ourselves.  I spoke to my husband AGAIN about this reocurring problem and, although I know he doesn't agree, he's getting there.  Where does the title of my journal "One day at a time" come from?  Well, I decided not to get all worked up over the latest bit of news I received from assistant principal today.  He called to tell me that T was overheard by 3 teachers talking drugs to a few fellow students and was planning on doing some this weekend.  T said that he wasn't talking to the kids that the teahcers said he was.  He, of course, turned everything around when we talked to him, telling us that they were wrong.  Whatever.  I think I believe him because he's been testing clean - urine and blood and his behavior seems okay.  I'm not going to try and guess all the time.  What is ....is.  If he did have that conversation, I truly believe he didn't act on it.    When we got home he told me that he was going to hop on his bike and just ride by himself for awhile.  Well, I called his phone just to see where he was and it was obvious he was with other kids, one of which I know for a fact engages in drugs.  The reason I know is  T talked about this kid on-line last weekend and T said he did.  T doesn't know I know about this particular kid but when I told him to stay away from him because I know, he said okay.  I know T is   I am not upset about these happenings.  I am calm and okay.  The reason I am even writing this is for treatment/probation purposes.  Just in case I have to recall something......TA DA!  This weather is so awesome!  Love it!