I think I screwed up. My son has been doing well. He's clean and he's been doing what he's supposed to be doing. He is fighting the battle of his life and I have to find something to wreck that. My motives were in the right place....trying to do the parent thing but maybe I could just let some things slide. It's about his girlfriend and he's now mad at me because I had asked him not to lay down on the couch with her when watching TV. They are really too chummy but what the heck........I'm there, aren't I? He cooperated, at first, but then gave me a hard time. I don't want any battles...... I think I need to get away..... He's been doing so well and I haven't given him enough credit. I know why I am like this. I've been on defense mode fror so long......tense and scared. Maybe, without realizing it, I've become more comfortable in this role...... Who knows........ Things will be better tomorrow. He can't be surly all day tomorrow, too.
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man. this sounds so much like me and my mom. i just wish i could hear HER say this. please give him some credit where it\'s due. you sound like a very smart and loving mom. take care!
lauren
Be sure to catch him doing the right things, and acknowledge the heck out of that kind of behavior. However, he is very vulnerable and lonely. For his emotional well being I think you are wise to think about the nature of their physical contact. Talk to him about this; it is not so much an issue of trust but of protecting him. This is above and beyond the usual concerns and issues of teen sexuality........?! As needed, you could ask him if it would be ok to check with her parents about the behavior they expect and decide if you might relax about their nearness........? He may decide that both parents are on the same page and no calls are needed (thank you very much -- LOL). This is one of those tricky issues -- from my vantage point as a group teens tend to be draped all over one another and it is not always sexual -- kind of like a pile of puppies interacting.....however, given his status he may be looking for an inappropriate level of intimacy.
Good Luck!!!!