Today could have been better.  T didn't go to school telling me he "wasn't feeling well".  He felt well enough to go out with his friends only to return at 10:30pm.  I told him that if he decided to leave he will not have access to the computer.  So...no computer.  He didn't argue for a change. I know I have to detach myself and not react to everything he does because it's driving me up the wall.  I foolishly tried to convince him to make the choice to go to another rehab facility I found instead of his "so called" decision to go to detention when he appears at the next PRETRIAL.  I say "so called" because he changed his mind before the judge before and he might do it again . Unfortunately, he only lasted 4 days and it might not sit well with the judge because of his decision to leave.  Perhaps he's trying to get a rise out of me, who knows?  I finally figured it out that I can not do this  - react.  If that's his choice to go to detention...then that's his choice.  At least I planted the seed.  I got in what I wanted by telling him that he needs the help and that this is the better of the two.  Who knows maybe he won't have a choice this time.  I know I must let go.  It's just so hard.  I know I have to work the program (Al anon) and have to keep going.  It's been helping me....I've just had a few lousy days.  I'm entitled -- right?   Oh....an then on top of all of this ....my mother in-law called.  Both my husband's and my family live a few states away and every year we go the day after Christmas and spend a few days visiting both sides of our families.  My mother-in-law asked, as much as it breaks her heart, that we not come because of T.  I understand.  I really do.  I am disappointed because we really needed to get away and have a distraction but .....do we really ever get away?  Initially, he was supposed to be in rehab.  This whole thing threw his mother off.  She nervous that he's going to get into their medications and booze.  It would be easy enough to hide it but I know it's more than that.  This news is going to bother our oldest the most.  He returning from this mission trip from Costa Rica -- with a slide show and lots of stories.  He loves sharing his adventures and he loves his grandparents.  I don't know if our middle guy will be as disappointed but I know he will too.  My grown husband is really bothered about it.  I suppose we could stay in a hotel and just visit those who don't mind us coming.  I am not sure if I want to anyway.  I know T will give us a hard time no matter where we are......