My husband and I ended up going to visit the school for troubled boys today (Friday).  T went  to school before we left and we made sure, if he did leave school, that J, our middle guy woud be here.  WOW!  We were sooo impressed with this facility that I just wanted to cry.  What I liked about it the most was the nurturing aspect of the program.  I could feel it in the air.  I did not feel that at all visiting the last facility.  There was no laughing and it was way too stifling.  The one we looked at today was so much nicer, too.  The living arrangements were family oriented, unlike the army barrick beds in the first place I visited.  The whole atmosphere and extras were 10 times better than the first one.  The first place had a gym and a small weight room and all schooling was done at computers.  The one we saw  today has an indoor & outdoor pool, a stable w/horses, a bowling alley, gym, a wall climbing and rope "barn", school, medical staff on campus at all times, a separate drug and rehab program (the other place never talked a specific program), individual therapy and group.  It's a bit more expensive but there is a chance we MIGHT be able to get some aid if we decided to go this route and if T agrees.  I don't know since the court isn't ordering this specific place if we will have any power. We were also warned by those who have been there to make sure we know what our limits will be.  Since addicts go through more than one program.....expected relapses .... to make sure we don't use our retirement money to try and fix him.  We've been warned to think long and hard about this because of the HUGE expense.  It does scare me........ T isn't home and it's past city curfew....  It figures.....he came home last night late and now tonight.....just after I told the detective that he's been doing better..........should have known....