I don't know how much more we can take this. I just dont' know what to do anymore. I am now not sold on any facility - I don't trust them and my husband needs major convincing to even consider sending T to any of these places. As we wait....our son gets worse. He left early this morning (still suspended from school) and here it's 10:29 PM and he's not home. I can't stand this. As I mentioned earlier, the drug assessment counselor and the staff at the place I was considering (at least for a temporary stay) is out of the question. He would be high risk for flight since the center does not offer lock down. Where do we send him? There are no lock downs in the county. I need to find something in our state before or for the court date in case the judge orders jail. Our son says he'd rather go to jail than rehab anyway. I don't think he knows what he's getting into. I just can't let that happen. He will receive no help there. I wish this was a clear cut case. Even the counselor couldn't really help me ...short of looking up sites on the Internet as he talked to me. I could do that. He was a very nice guy and he really wanted to help me. Why is this so difficult? Why can't there be a national list of every possible center listed by category, and rated by the former clients, with ratings etc.. that you could access on the computer? It would be kind of like a consumer reporting list? It's so confusing and so overwhelming. I wish my husband was more supportive. I can certainly understand his resistance but he doesn't investigate anything himself. He will look at what I find on the net but says he doesn't trust these places because anyone can do a good website. He knows - he's very familiar with it in business. I agree with him but....do we not do anything?
Replies
Unfortunately, it may be left up to the courts to decide.....If jail turns out to be a \"bad\" choice for T maybe he will be more receptive later to another type of facility/treatment. Are the nature of the charges such that his status as a juvenile under 16 will show up later? Why does he think jail is better than rehab? Any chance he\'s got misinformation from friends; would a talk from the drug courts parole/probation officer cause him to reconsider his position and/or choices? You are between a rock and a hard place --- very hard! I am so sorry!!!!!!!!!
I also wonder if it is true that if a person does not want help that s/he cannot be helped? I wonder what could convince your son, much less your husband..... My thoughts are with you and if, but some miracle, I think of something, I will let you know right away!
My heart is breaking for you. I\'m anxious to hear the answers to penpal\'s questions. Are these charges such that when he reaches adulthood they would be off his record or will they show up later? What state are you in and I\'ll try to do some research for you for a juvenile facility. I would say that he definitely needs a locked facility as he is a flight risk. Let me know what I can do to help. I\'ll give this some more thought. Prayers are being sent big time to you and your family.
It occurs to me that it is like a young family being caught off guard and having to plan for a funeral.....emotions running high, tough to shop for and the odds of getting taken advantage of is high. And so here you are faced with a crisis and very little opportunity to make a really informed decision.
Have you checked with your insurance company about any locations -- even if they will pay for some of it you are ahead of so many others! At least with the insurance company there is some vetting and accreditation items that can be used as a bench mark....; if not the facility the lead psychiatrist or other personnel would have a paper trail -- degree, licensure (in good standing or not - sanctions), years in practice, on site X hours or off site Y hours....Still thinking about this and you! Take Care!!!!!!!!!
In my experience jail is alot easier than treatment. You can continue to abuse inside jail, you don\'t face your true self in the mirror everyday with self reflection and group therapy, you don\'t have to change to get out either. In treatment you have to do ALOT of work and it\'s not something alot of people are willing to do until they hit rock bottom. Some facilities are trained in dealing with the psychological process as well as the addiction therefore although hard can bring a person down and build them back up again. I\'m here for you if you need a friend.
It\'s too bad they can\'t do the treatment in jail.
take care. I hope that eveything works out for your family. hang in there.