#@%$#%  - The assessment didn't go well at the residential center this morning.  T met with the counselor for about an hour and, initially, it seemed to go very well.  Next it was our turn - giving the counselor the added list of criminal offenses to him.  Not surprisingly, he recommended in-patient - telling us he doesn't come across cases this bad.  T then joined us, heard what the counselor recommendedl, and then told us all in a few choice words $%#&$% that there was no way that he would agree to go to rehab.  I told him what his alternate and he said jail was fine for him.  He has over 8 charges, with a few felonies and just doesn't seem to get it.  It's so frustrating.  I want to send T-Man off now to Montana or to a similar facility, but my HUSBAND wants to wait and see if he would do, at least, a out-patient program.  Hello?  He frustrates me so much.  I wish my husband were stronger and more directive.  I don't mind making the arrangements but I need his support.  Sometimes -- I'll admit --- I wish he would take over a bit, enough so that I can feel more secure. These are huge decisions - scary ones at that.  What if I work my husband over and get him to agree that a long time treatment/boarding school is the way to go?  And then it doesn't work for our son?  I know it's a big risk and our son is so worth it....but what if?  I made the mistake to of telling my "very conservative, no risk" father of my dilema.  Before he heard the whole story about the facility....he starts in telling me that it was a bad idea.  He was trying to tell me that we could lose our house if for some reason we couldn't pay.  Not quite.  He just heard the cost of the program and went off.  I think I set myself up for that one.  Maybe I am trying to talk myself out of making a huge commitment such as this by telling someone like him about it.....