I talked to the detective, not Kevin - the one for juveniles, but the one for adults.  He handled the latest incident because Kev is out of the office until Monday.  Well....he called to tell me what the missing items are in the two homes that were burglarized.  I found a few things - even one not on the list.  Also two cars were broken into and medication was taken & T was the one who took it.   One item from one of the homes was a black leather jacket - left out in the open - I found it on our basement floor.  T is getting sloppy.  The dectective and lieutenant wanted to search our home - to help me.  I told them no but didn't tell them why.  I am willing to help but that is such an invasion of our space -  I would feel violated. That's why I could never get a cleaning lady.....I am kinda weird that way.  I don't like it even when the exterminator comes to our house.  His humming "bugs" me.  sorry - bad joke.   I couldn't help the police right away because after T went to school very late, I got a call from the assistant principal.  He wanted me up to school.  T refused to empty out his pockets but did so while I was there.  They had talked a bit worked things out.  T is suspended again, however, for having cigarettes.  I am glad, at least, that the asst. principal is understanding.  He knows the scope of the problem and really knows how to talk to T.  T opens up to him and seems comfortable with him.  He would NEVER admit it to his friends, or me,  that he likes him.  I can tell he does. Soooo........do ya think I have enough ammunition to present to my husband to convince him that we HAVE to get him into a residential rehab facility?  I asked the adult detective about all the charges......would we have to wait for all court dates before we can act and he said no.  He said we could deal with the court later.  This is a HUGE undertaking, I know.  But what is our choice?  And is there a guarantee like my husband wants?  I will find out what the success rate is down the line....not one but 5 years - if there is data on it.  Good idea PenPal!  The one boarding school for troubled teens,  I do have in mind is the one I read about.  I feel like I've been there.  I would like to talk to the counselor who the kids loved in the book AND would like to read the book he wrote.  He is still at this facility.  Montana is so far away.  Our emergency room doctor friend's nephew was in a similar program....he completed it, graduated - with honors.....and just 10 after his release he started in again.  Now the family is selling their home and moving without him.  He threatened their lives.  I know that that is a dramatic story but it is reality.  I understand that anything can happen....success stories, too.  It's just scary not knowing what the outcome is going to be.  I cannot sit back, however, and not try and find the best.  I love my son and he deserves it.   Oh.........on another note:  I just received a call from the curriculum director at the school.  He called to tell me that the school district IS going with the speaker I suggested after all.  He seemed elated!  He asked me if I was planning on attending.  I told him no, thinking why would I?  He said since I was instrumental in getting the speaker that he would like to invite me on the behalf of the board of education.  I thought that that was very kind of him.  I am not sure if I will go or not.  I know I will feel a bit uncomfortable because I know the principal probably felt cornered.  He had to make a decision and follow through on ....which I found him to not be very good at....at least ....when it comes to booking speakers.   What I mean is....I will feel uncomfortable because I know he didn't want this speaker because he didn't pick it.  He is very weird that way......... Well.....hubby and I have an earlier soccer game so I better get the dinner going.....