Thanks to all of you for your comments. I truly appreciate your input...especially from an educator's (and one by proxy) point of view. As you know, my emotions are at the surface and rather than focus on the obvious and what is going on now.....I've been focusing on this issue. When my middle son had some problems creep up last fall.......I found myself -- again pushing for this. But now........I am done. Again .....thanks guys! With your advice and my friend, Beth's, it's time to let it go.... And if they decide to do something next fall like the curriculum director said they might.....then fine. Oh..........T-Man left at 10:30AM, came home briefly to eat a bowl of cereal and shower, and then went right back to where he came from. It's after ten at night. Who knows when he'll be back. Went to our first Families Anonymous meeting. My hubby actually went with me. I thought it was helpful but my husband thought it was so too emotionally draining. He can't comprehend how others can just kick their children (18 and over) out of the house or not show more compassion. He still wants to turn our son's phone back on! I thought all the talk about manipulation and enabling would get through to him. All it did was reaffirm his believes....that he's right and everyone else is wrong. I am glad, however, that he said he'd go back. One step at a time.......... ** I'll admit it was a bit draining to hear all the stories about repeated rehab experiences.... a scary reality that that can happen here. Again thanks my friends! You have been so supportive and so wonderful. I know I've been high maintanance for a while now -- and I appreciate your patience. I apologize that I haven't been as supportive to you as I should have - especially these last few MONTHS! Gosh....it hasbeen a long time!
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I really do wish the best for you, your son, and your whole family. Perhaps you and your husband are a good balance. I think there is a fine line (maybe even some overlap) between loving and enabling. I\'m still not exactly sure what is enabling. Take care of yourself, too!
You sound energized today. Perhaps, letting go of the education piece is part of that - - -
I am still not sure what the benefits are of denying your son a cell phone? From a tracking standpoint, it would seem to be a good thing (ie get the monthly printout of incoming and outgoing calls...). You would also have the ability to block calls (ie dealer). Finally, in the event he ever bottoms out, he could call you....or EMS/Police if they find him unconscious. In the meantime, he is still using something, whether he has the phone or not.
This is a high maintenance time -- allow others to give you support! Take Care!!