Spoke too soon. I don't know if he is using or not....he doesn't explode like he used to but he certainly is defiant. He said he would go to school but didn't. When I tried to have a heart to heart talk with him he froze and simply ignored me. I was at the end of my rope so I told him he needed to turn down the rap music he was playing and eventually told him I wanted it off. He got mad and said he was planning on going to school at the end of the day but because I told him to turn off the music ....he wouldn't go. He then took the batteries out of the TV remote for his CD player and took off on his brother's bike. I am so ............ I don't know what I am. I just feel so defeated. I can't seem to get through to him that this whole situation can get better. He is not alone. I don't know why there is so much anger toward me. He certainly doesn't have that toward his grandparents. I do understand, however, that they weren't the ones who turned off his cell phone. That is all he focuses on. Sigh.........
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He\'s just picking something, I think. If not the cell phone then it would be something else. Unfortuately, however, I do not know what you can do about it....
Could he live somewhere else? Is there a family member who would take him in for even a week - hopefully away from his current circle of friends and dealers? No phone calls from the parents and he would live by the other family\'s rules? This would give everyone a breather.
Of course you are both mad at each other; you are the enforcer - not the enabler! He is POed since he can not get his way.....he can just as easily use someone else\'s cell or landline; as Oleday says, if not the cell then something else.
Addiction - Mental Illness?????!!!!???? This behavior goes way beyond parenting issues (i.e. spoiled). I am hoping that there is some type of meaningful assessment and intervention soon. In the meantime, document, document and document.
You are doing the best job (parenting) possible!!!